Welcome to the new week!
I have nine days before I fly out to California, and ten days until I move in to the dorms! So of course I got the Ice Bucket Challenge today from one of my friends, and my panic about leaving has all but vanished. All in the normal course of things.
With that, I present: this week's interests...
This Week I'm...
Reading
Healing for a Broken World by Steve Monsma
Still, I know. I did finish To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han, and it was fabulous. I'm in love with Peter Kavinsky. 9/10 for sure.
Watching
Teen Wolf
Always. I love this show so much. If you haven't started it yet, please do. For your own sake if nothing else.
The First Time
Starring Teen Wolf's own Dylan O'Brien, this very awkward and quirky rom-com is worth a watch (you know, as long as you don't mind moderately awkward conversations made extremely awkward). It had a cute ending, and Dylan O'Brien is always fabulous. 7/10
So You Think You Can Dance
This reality TV show has always been great, and this season is no exception. Ricky ubeda is the most talented dancer I've ever seen, and Zack Everhart is so talented and cute...honestly, I don't really care about the girls this year, because Zack and Ricky are so unbelievable. This Wednedsday we find out who is going to the finale, so check it out!
Side note: five days until Doctor Who. I'm just a tiny bit over-the-top excited for it, and hoping that the rumors of Jenna-Louise Coleman's imminent departure are false!
Listening to
"Love Runs Out" by OneRepublic
I love this song, especially since it was used for a group routine on So You Think You Can Dance. Can't get enough of it, though I'm sure the radio will do all it can to make me sick of it.
M83
You have probably heard their song "Midnight City" on some soundtrack or another (most notably in the movie Warm Bodies), or their song "Wait" on the TFiOS soundtrack, and I think this band deserves a mention. Some of their music is very weird--by weird, I mean unconventional and sometimes bizarre--but they have a unique ability to communicate emotions in their music. The way they use unusual sounds or clips of audio in their music is strange, granted, but affects me in ways I'm constantly surprised at. Though, like dubstep, you couldn't listen to them non stop, they're definitely worth checking out, if only for a new and unique experience.
8.18.2014
8.13.2014
The First Time (2012): A Review
I wanted to watch this movie because Dylan O'Brien was in it. That's my disclaimer.
First, I want to talk about Stuck in Love (2013). Stuck in Love is one of my favorite movies, and I love love love the romance between Louis and Sam. She is cynical and anti-love, and he is fascinated by her, and is a hopeless romantic. Slowly she becomes less cynical, as his unwavering love for her changes her. Beautiful, right? (Seriously, watch that movie. 10/10)
That's exactly Dave and Aubrey's relationship. Only not as good. Aubrey's anti-romance sentiment is almost irritating at times, and Dave, though adorable (and easily capable of winning anyone's heart), has little to no motivation to fall in love with Aubrey. The two actors, despite being an off-screen couple, don't seem to have a lot of chemistry, making me question repeatedly what he sees in her.
My favorite part of this movie? The side characters. Aubrey's jerk boyfriend, Dave's two best friends who have great chemistry. Dylan O'Brien is also great, as he always is.
I think--and I don't say this lightly--that it was just too much awkward. Too many weird conversations, uncomfortable silences...usually I love awkward, but there was just too much.
It was a decent ending/wake up call for Dave, but there was a lot of awkward and not-quite chemistry in the middle. (And my favorite song "Girls Like You" by The Naked and Famous was in it, so bonus points)
My rating: 6/10
8.12.2014
This Week's Interests
In the interest of sharing what I love with the rest of the world, I am beginning a weekly (don't hold me to that) update on what I'm interested in! This week I'm...
Reading...
Healing for a Broken World by Steve Monsma
...and...
To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han
Healing is required reading for school, and to be honest...I'm having some trouble with it. It's interesting, but dry. Very dry. Jenny Han's book is my fun read. My mom devoured it in about 24 hours, and raves about it to anyone who will listen, so I'm giving it a shot.
Watching...
Movies: Anything I feel like
I've been re-watching lots and lots of movies in the last few days. I can't seem to decide on a new movie to watch, so I keep re-watching old ones. Though I did watch Lethal Weapon the other day, and it was pretty great.
TV: Teen Wolf
It's the middle of Season 4, and it's getting pretty interesting. The Benefactor's identity sometimes keeps me up at night, and I am pretty glad about the recent developments with "Stalia". Because Stydia. Enough said.
Listening to...
Slow Kids At Play
Dylan O'Brien recommended them on Twitter, so I started listening to them about thirty minutes ago. I really like them! They're a fun rock band that almost reminds me of Fall Out Boy. Almost. Fair warning, though, there is some strong language in their lyrics, so listeners beware.
Shatterproof
I'm still in love with this band and I get to see them live this Friday!! I'm unbelievably excited, in case you can't tell. Their acoustic videos of the songs "Sticks and Stones" and "October" are just to die for. Go ahead. Look them up. I dare you.
Those are my interests for this week! I am open to suggestions of stuff to check out, so as always, feel free to comment, or follow me on Twitter @vamp1reslayr.
About Time (2013): A Review
In keeping with my theme of trying to enjoy life to the fullest, I thought I'd publish a review of a movie I saw recently: About Time, starring Rachel McAdams, Domnhall Gleeson, and Bill Nighy. I know it came out a long time ago (around the time I first visited Westmont, actually) but I kept putting off seeing it. There were a couple of reasons for this, the primary one being that I thought it was going to be a cheesy love story that made me puke a little bit in my mouth. Spoiler Alert: I couldn't have been more wrong.
At first glance, it seems to be a kitschy movie about a twenty-something guy who discovers he can time travel, and uses his new-found powers to have sex with women multiple times over. This is all true, but it's also a whole lot more. After having several meets-cute with Mary (Rachel McAdams), Tim (Domnhall Gleeson) finally gets her to go out with him, beginning a whirlwind romance complicated by his inability to function in social situations, his sister's substance abuse, and his father's terminal illness.
I loved this movie from start to finish. It was extremely easy to relate to Tim, as awkward as he is. It was also great fun to yell at the TV when he made monumentally stupid decisions, then sigh in relief when he went back and fixed them. I confess, my favorite part of the movie was that it wasn't a romance. At least, not really. Though his and Mary's relationship had all the hallmarks of a great romantic comedy, it was Tim's relationship with his father (Bill Nighy) that seemed to be the point of the movie. Their devotion to one another, expressed in awkward ways, is the most memorable, and by far the most touching, part of the film.
Yet, as if the romantic-comedy/family drama wasn't perfect enough, there was an inspiring message at the end of it all. Despite being able to time travel and redo the same moments over and over again, Tim ultimately learns that the point of life isn't to keep trying, in the hopes of finding good in life--the point is to find the good in every single moment, the first time.
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Quote:
And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time, and I've even gone one step further than my father did. The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life. (Source: IMDb)
At first glance, it seems to be a kitschy movie about a twenty-something guy who discovers he can time travel, and uses his new-found powers to have sex with women multiple times over. This is all true, but it's also a whole lot more. After having several meets-cute with Mary (Rachel McAdams), Tim (Domnhall Gleeson) finally gets her to go out with him, beginning a whirlwind romance complicated by his inability to function in social situations, his sister's substance abuse, and his father's terminal illness.
I loved this movie from start to finish. It was extremely easy to relate to Tim, as awkward as he is. It was also great fun to yell at the TV when he made monumentally stupid decisions, then sigh in relief when he went back and fixed them. I confess, my favorite part of the movie was that it wasn't a romance. At least, not really. Though his and Mary's relationship had all the hallmarks of a great romantic comedy, it was Tim's relationship with his father (Bill Nighy) that seemed to be the point of the movie. Their devotion to one another, expressed in awkward ways, is the most memorable, and by far the most touching, part of the film.
Yet, as if the romantic-comedy/family drama wasn't perfect enough, there was an inspiring message at the end of it all. Despite being able to time travel and redo the same moments over and over again, Tim ultimately learns that the point of life isn't to keep trying, in the hopes of finding good in life--the point is to find the good in every single moment, the first time.
Rating: 9/10
Favorite Quote:
And in the end I think I've learned the final lesson from my travels in time, and I've even gone one step further than my father did. The truth is I now don't travel back at all, not even for the day. I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day, to enjoy it, as if it was the full final day of my extraordinary, ordinary life. (Source: IMDb)
Inspiring Words of the Week
I'm going to be honest: I've had a bad day. One of those days where everything goes wrong, and it all gets exponentially worse with each new frustrating event. One of those days where you eat popcorn and chocolate for dinner (and talk yourself out of having a second soda).
Yet I keep reminding myself over and over of two things. First: God is good, and no matter how bad things seem to be, He's on the other side making it all work out for the best. Second, these words I found on Pinterest a few days ago:
She rolled over,
buried half her face
in her pillow,
and smiled
slightly.
It was then,
the overwhelming
realization washed over me
that there is
so much more
to life
than simply
surviving it.
As things seem to be delving into chaos all around me, and I'm caught in the whirlwind of moving, starting school, trying to transfer, and applying for scholarships, I feel like I've just been trying to survive. As a result, I have missed a lot of the good in my life. Sure, today was difficult, but what about His blessings? Sunshine, chocolate, forgiveness for every stupid decision I make, and Netflix.
My resolution for the month of August (remember monthly resolutions?) is to remember that there is more to life than just survival. Even when things are hectic and difficult, God has given me so many blessings to get me through it all--and I should stop to enjoy them.
Note: I know no author to which the above words can be ascribed. I take no credit for them, and recognize the author to be "anonymous". If you happen to know who the author is, let me know!
Yet I keep reminding myself over and over of two things. First: God is good, and no matter how bad things seem to be, He's on the other side making it all work out for the best. Second, these words I found on Pinterest a few days ago:
She rolled over,
buried half her face
in her pillow,
and smiled
slightly.
It was then,
the overwhelming
realization washed over me
that there is
so much more
to life
than simply
surviving it.
As things seem to be delving into chaos all around me, and I'm caught in the whirlwind of moving, starting school, trying to transfer, and applying for scholarships, I feel like I've just been trying to survive. As a result, I have missed a lot of the good in my life. Sure, today was difficult, but what about His blessings? Sunshine, chocolate, forgiveness for every stupid decision I make, and Netflix.
My resolution for the month of August (remember monthly resolutions?) is to remember that there is more to life than just survival. Even when things are hectic and difficult, God has given me so many blessings to get me through it all--and I should stop to enjoy them.
Note: I know no author to which the above words can be ascribed. I take no credit for them, and recognize the author to be "anonymous". If you happen to know who the author is, let me know!
8.04.2014
Throwback Monday
Yeah, I went there. I just wanted to revisit one of my favorite posts, Deep Thoughts Before 7, from about a year ago. There's a section I still really love. Here it is.
In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.
I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.
Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. It's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statement on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it or not.
Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.
In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.
I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.
Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. It's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statement on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it or not.
Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.
It's Good to Be Back
Hello again, fellow Internet-dwellers. It has been a while, hasn't it? This is my "first" post of 2014. I have a few drafts from this year that I have either not published or removed, because they were just bad, so this is the first post! It's all very exciting, isn't it?
Quick update on my life: I have graduated high school, leave for college in about three weeks, and my life has basically been taken up with scholarships, movies, work, and Teen Wolf. Yes, you read that correctly. In the last two weeks my mom, brother, honorary sister and I have binge-watched all 3.5 seasons of Teen Wolf. That's about 54 episodes, mind you. Impressive? Yes. Sad? Maybe. Now, before you judge me, I must inform you that it is a surprisingly good show. And this is coming from someone who (if you'll pardon my arrogance for two seconds) has good taste in TV shows.
The first season or two is very cheesy, and doesn't have the best writing or acting. Granted. Yet the show has evolved greatly, both in creativity and quality of writing, acting, and chemistry between the actors. It is just so much fun to watch, and Dylan O'Brien is a fabulously brilliant actor (keep an eye on that one; if his Twitter mentions are any indication, he's going to be a massive star one day). It doesn't hurt that everyone in the show is beautiful, either. So if you're looking for something to tide you over until Doctor Who (the 23rd!), I'd say give Teen Wolf a shot. It's free to watch on Amazon Prime Instant Video, and season 4 is currently airing.
Since it has been months since I've posted, I'll give you all a few more recommendations. Guardians of the Galaxy, in theaters, is brilliant. It's the funniest Marvel movie to date. Stuck In Love is one of my favorite movies of all time, and has a brilliant soundtrack. Masterpiece Mystery's Endeavour, which is a sort of spin-off of Inspector Lewis, and based on the Inspetor Morse novels by Colin Dexter, is well worth a watch, as well. It's like Sherlock, in that each episode is about an hour and a half long, but they're very smart, very entertaining, and oh-so-British. (Also, Sherlock Season 3. Can I get an "OHMYGOSH"?)
As far as music goes, I am loving The Fault in Our Stars soundtrack right now (also a brilliant movie). Alt-J and The Smiths are my new favorite artists. Alt-J is a sort of weird alternative electronic band (reminiscent of Sigur Ros, only not Icelandic) and The Smiths are like an emo 80s version of the Beatles.
My life mostly consists of dragging my feet on scholarships, waiting for the next episode of Teen Wolf, and looking forward to Doctor Who and school starting. My hope is to blog more frequently, and have more developed and structured content, since I have oh-so-many thoughts on oh-so-many things.
In the meantime, follow me on Twitter (@vamp1reslayr) for random thoughts and retweets from other, much cleverer, people. Toodles!
Quick update on my life: I have graduated high school, leave for college in about three weeks, and my life has basically been taken up with scholarships, movies, work, and Teen Wolf. Yes, you read that correctly. In the last two weeks my mom, brother, honorary sister and I have binge-watched all 3.5 seasons of Teen Wolf. That's about 54 episodes, mind you. Impressive? Yes. Sad? Maybe. Now, before you judge me, I must inform you that it is a surprisingly good show. And this is coming from someone who (if you'll pardon my arrogance for two seconds) has good taste in TV shows.
The first season or two is very cheesy, and doesn't have the best writing or acting. Granted. Yet the show has evolved greatly, both in creativity and quality of writing, acting, and chemistry between the actors. It is just so much fun to watch, and Dylan O'Brien is a fabulously brilliant actor (keep an eye on that one; if his Twitter mentions are any indication, he's going to be a massive star one day). It doesn't hurt that everyone in the show is beautiful, either. So if you're looking for something to tide you over until Doctor Who (the 23rd!), I'd say give Teen Wolf a shot. It's free to watch on Amazon Prime Instant Video, and season 4 is currently airing.
Since it has been months since I've posted, I'll give you all a few more recommendations. Guardians of the Galaxy, in theaters, is brilliant. It's the funniest Marvel movie to date. Stuck In Love is one of my favorite movies of all time, and has a brilliant soundtrack. Masterpiece Mystery's Endeavour, which is a sort of spin-off of Inspector Lewis, and based on the Inspetor Morse novels by Colin Dexter, is well worth a watch, as well. It's like Sherlock, in that each episode is about an hour and a half long, but they're very smart, very entertaining, and oh-so-British. (Also, Sherlock Season 3. Can I get an "OHMYGOSH"?)
As far as music goes, I am loving The Fault in Our Stars soundtrack right now (also a brilliant movie). Alt-J and The Smiths are my new favorite artists. Alt-J is a sort of weird alternative electronic band (reminiscent of Sigur Ros, only not Icelandic) and The Smiths are like an emo 80s version of the Beatles.
My life mostly consists of dragging my feet on scholarships, waiting for the next episode of Teen Wolf, and looking forward to Doctor Who and school starting. My hope is to blog more frequently, and have more developed and structured content, since I have oh-so-many thoughts on oh-so-many things.
In the meantime, follow me on Twitter (@vamp1reslayr) for random thoughts and retweets from other, much cleverer, people. Toodles!
12.31.2013
2014
2014: The year when I turn 18, graduate high school, earn my Associate's Degree, and begin working on my Bachelor's Degree. Theoretically, it should be a fantastic year.
And it's strange, because I don't know if it's like this every year (I became more socially aware this year...that is, I joined Twitter), but everyone claims that 2014 will be the best year yet. My favorite comment is by musical artist BriBry, who tweeted that "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke was voted the best song of 2013, which is proof that 2014 will be better. Which I appreciate, because I despise "Blurred Lines."
But at any rate, I am pretty happy that 2013 is over. There were some good moments, but I am so done with this year. And I'm ready to start my life, even if that means a lot more responsibility and difficult choices...it feels like I'm on the brink of the rest of my life, and adulthood, and that's exciting, even if it's a little bit scary. Terrifying, really.
So with that in mind, I lay forth my resolutions. No, I am not doing resolutions for the entire year. This year, I decided to try something different: resolutions by month. That way, it's easier to tackle a few things at a time, and that the goals/resolutions can evolve and progress with me, throughout the year. My resolutions for the month of January are as follows:
1. Take better care of myself
-Floss and brush so consistently I put my dentist to shame
-Eat regularly, and eat less junk food
2. Achieve my forensics goals
-Work on my time management during my speeches
-Perfect my humor
-Focus less on the less round, and more on the upcoming one
3. GET STUFF DONE
-FAFSA complete
-Scholarship or two a week? Ideally?
-Write 5,000 words in my book. (You didn't see that, and I'm not talking about it)
-Finish Christmas presents for friends (Yes, I'm a failure at presents)
So those are my three for the month of January. Hopefully, I will remember to do this at the beginning/end of every month.
Happy new year!
EDIT: If I do have a resolution for this year, it would have to be to stop and enjoy everything going on. There's going to be a lot going on this year, but I don't want to get caught up in the stress and craziness and all of the things, and totally miss out on one of the best times of my life.
And it's strange, because I don't know if it's like this every year (I became more socially aware this year...that is, I joined Twitter), but everyone claims that 2014 will be the best year yet. My favorite comment is by musical artist BriBry, who tweeted that "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke was voted the best song of 2013, which is proof that 2014 will be better. Which I appreciate, because I despise "Blurred Lines."
But at any rate, I am pretty happy that 2013 is over. There were some good moments, but I am so done with this year. And I'm ready to start my life, even if that means a lot more responsibility and difficult choices...it feels like I'm on the brink of the rest of my life, and adulthood, and that's exciting, even if it's a little bit scary. Terrifying, really.
So with that in mind, I lay forth my resolutions. No, I am not doing resolutions for the entire year. This year, I decided to try something different: resolutions by month. That way, it's easier to tackle a few things at a time, and that the goals/resolutions can evolve and progress with me, throughout the year. My resolutions for the month of January are as follows:
1. Take better care of myself
-Floss and brush so consistently I put my dentist to shame
-Eat regularly, and eat less junk food
2. Achieve my forensics goals
-Work on my time management during my speeches
-Perfect my humor
-Focus less on the less round, and more on the upcoming one
3. GET STUFF DONE
-FAFSA complete
-Scholarship or two a week? Ideally?
-Write 5,000 words in my book. (You didn't see that, and I'm not talking about it)
-Finish Christmas presents for friends (Yes, I'm a failure at presents)
So those are my three for the month of January. Hopefully, I will remember to do this at the beginning/end of every month.
Happy new year!
EDIT: If I do have a resolution for this year, it would have to be to stop and enjoy everything going on. There's going to be a lot going on this year, but I don't want to get caught up in the stress and craziness and all of the things, and totally miss out on one of the best times of my life.
12.29.2013
Register for free on @CollegeXpress and I can win some money!
Register for free on @CollegeXpress and I can win some money! #scholarships #college
College Xpress is helpful for finding scholarships! I get an entry to win $500 in scholarships for every person who registers through my link. Help me out?
College Xpress is helpful for finding scholarships! I get an entry to win $500 in scholarships for every person who registers through my link. Help me out?
12.19.2013
Lessons from a Long Semester
I have finished the semester. I actually finished my semester ten days ago, but I've been ridiculously busy doing a lot of nothing since then.
But I thought I would blog about what I've learned over the course of this semester, since I've learned a lot. Maybe some of them will help you if you ever have a 17-credit semester while maintaining a part-time job.
First: Staying up super late becomes a habit very quickly.
I had thought that when I didn't have to stay up super late every night to do homework, I would go to bed at 9:30 or 10 every night, and be responsible, and get super rested, etc. Nope. Actually, I've been staying up about as late as I used to, just sleeping in longer in the mornings. It's strange if I'm in bed before 11, and not altogether unusual for it to be after midnight before I turn out the lights. All this to say, maintaining healthy sleeping habits as much as possible is a good idea, because it becomes a very difficult habit to break, and one which I'm sure will end up costing me next semester, when I can't sleep til 10 or 11 in the morning every day.
Second: Make lists.
Sometimes lists can stress people out, but lists are a good way to make sure you don't forget anything. If you have a list down of everything you need to do (even little things like emailing your forensics coach) is a good idea. Even better? Write down how much time each thing will take. It's easy to become overwhelmed when there are twenty things on your list, but when ten of those things take two minutes each, it's easier to handle.
Third: Pick TV shows and movies you've already seen.
Now this applies to only certain people. It was my favorite part of this semester, actually. I watched a lot of TV and movies this semester. I either watched them when I was upstairs with my family, with my laptop in front of me, or let it play background on my laptop while I wrote papers. If you are like me, and can't work with complete silence, then play things in the background! Don't listen to scientists with their crap about multi-tasking! Multi-task if it helps you think. Chances are, you'll stop paying attention to your movie or music, allowing you to focus on your paper, but the very existence of the background sound will help keep your brain quiet. Watching things you've already seen helps you focus better, because you already know what happens. Also, it can help if you watch certain things while you do certain subjects, like for studying, because you'll relate the two. As an example, I did really well during my economics class because I binge-watched Veronica Mars while I did my homework, so I permanently associated the two, helping me remember better.
Fourth: Plan at least one day a month on which to go do something fun.
Take the day off of work, ignore your homework, and go to lunch, go to a movie, hang out with friends. Get out of the house, and let yourself breathe for a little while. I only planned one of these, and I really should have done more. But I loved that day, because it felt so good to just let yourself be irresponsible for once, and not let yourself feel guilty about it. Bonus points if you make a rule with your friends to not talk about school.
Fifth: Listen to your friends and family.
Half of them have really good advice. The other half are in it with you. Listen to their advice. If they say you're making a mountain out of a molehill, you probably are (list-making helps with that). If they say you need a break, take a break. The best advice they'll give you is to sleep--that one is the one you need to listen to most of all, because sleep deprivation isn't good for anyone. The people who are in it with you are probably more likely to be okay with listening to the list of all the things you have to do, and they might be in the same situation you are. They have probably also figured out tricks for dealing with their own craziness. If nothing else, you can threaten each other if you don't finish your homework.
Sixth (and finally): Go to people who know.
We all know one person who is awesome. We like to think of them as perfect human beings. They're the ones who took eight classes, had a job, and competed in four different sports, all at once. And somehow didn't lose their minds. Ask their advice. That was the best thing I did this entire semester. I asked my friend Maddi (love you friend), and she had some really good advice which really helped me (hint: TV shows and list-making with time estimates--sound familiar?). If nothing else, they can encourage you that the world will not end, and you will feel SO GOOD when the semester is over.
So this semester is finally over, and I have maintained my weighted 4.0 GPA, and am happily looking forward to my 13-credit semester (I'm taking French 2, Geology, Jazz Dance, and Ethics--dare I say, best semester ever?) and spending lots of time on forensics. I made it through this semester, and ultimately the greatest thing I learned is not to doubt God. My sanity is intact because of Him, and His faithfulness. So I'd say, if you ever feel overwhelmed, don't discount the awesome ability of God to get you through whatever you're going through. Praise the Lord it's all over!!!
BTW, I got my first acceptance letter!
But I thought I would blog about what I've learned over the course of this semester, since I've learned a lot. Maybe some of them will help you if you ever have a 17-credit semester while maintaining a part-time job.
First: Staying up super late becomes a habit very quickly.
I had thought that when I didn't have to stay up super late every night to do homework, I would go to bed at 9:30 or 10 every night, and be responsible, and get super rested, etc. Nope. Actually, I've been staying up about as late as I used to, just sleeping in longer in the mornings. It's strange if I'm in bed before 11, and not altogether unusual for it to be after midnight before I turn out the lights. All this to say, maintaining healthy sleeping habits as much as possible is a good idea, because it becomes a very difficult habit to break, and one which I'm sure will end up costing me next semester, when I can't sleep til 10 or 11 in the morning every day.
Second: Make lists.
Sometimes lists can stress people out, but lists are a good way to make sure you don't forget anything. If you have a list down of everything you need to do (even little things like emailing your forensics coach) is a good idea. Even better? Write down how much time each thing will take. It's easy to become overwhelmed when there are twenty things on your list, but when ten of those things take two minutes each, it's easier to handle.
Third: Pick TV shows and movies you've already seen.
Now this applies to only certain people. It was my favorite part of this semester, actually. I watched a lot of TV and movies this semester. I either watched them when I was upstairs with my family, with my laptop in front of me, or let it play background on my laptop while I wrote papers. If you are like me, and can't work with complete silence, then play things in the background! Don't listen to scientists with their crap about multi-tasking! Multi-task if it helps you think. Chances are, you'll stop paying attention to your movie or music, allowing you to focus on your paper, but the very existence of the background sound will help keep your brain quiet. Watching things you've already seen helps you focus better, because you already know what happens. Also, it can help if you watch certain things while you do certain subjects, like for studying, because you'll relate the two. As an example, I did really well during my economics class because I binge-watched Veronica Mars while I did my homework, so I permanently associated the two, helping me remember better.
Fourth: Plan at least one day a month on which to go do something fun.
Take the day off of work, ignore your homework, and go to lunch, go to a movie, hang out with friends. Get out of the house, and let yourself breathe for a little while. I only planned one of these, and I really should have done more. But I loved that day, because it felt so good to just let yourself be irresponsible for once, and not let yourself feel guilty about it. Bonus points if you make a rule with your friends to not talk about school.
Fifth: Listen to your friends and family.
Half of them have really good advice. The other half are in it with you. Listen to their advice. If they say you're making a mountain out of a molehill, you probably are (list-making helps with that). If they say you need a break, take a break. The best advice they'll give you is to sleep--that one is the one you need to listen to most of all, because sleep deprivation isn't good for anyone. The people who are in it with you are probably more likely to be okay with listening to the list of all the things you have to do, and they might be in the same situation you are. They have probably also figured out tricks for dealing with their own craziness. If nothing else, you can threaten each other if you don't finish your homework.
Sixth (and finally): Go to people who know.
We all know one person who is awesome. We like to think of them as perfect human beings. They're the ones who took eight classes, had a job, and competed in four different sports, all at once. And somehow didn't lose their minds. Ask their advice. That was the best thing I did this entire semester. I asked my friend Maddi (love you friend), and she had some really good advice which really helped me (hint: TV shows and list-making with time estimates--sound familiar?). If nothing else, they can encourage you that the world will not end, and you will feel SO GOOD when the semester is over.
So this semester is finally over, and I have maintained my weighted 4.0 GPA, and am happily looking forward to my 13-credit semester (I'm taking French 2, Geology, Jazz Dance, and Ethics--dare I say, best semester ever?) and spending lots of time on forensics. I made it through this semester, and ultimately the greatest thing I learned is not to doubt God. My sanity is intact because of Him, and His faithfulness. So I'd say, if you ever feel overwhelmed, don't discount the awesome ability of God to get you through whatever you're going through. Praise the Lord it's all over!!!
BTW, I got my first acceptance letter!
Christmas Clarification
I was looking through the IMDb page for A Charlie Brown Christmas when I stumbled upon the reviews for the special. I was interested how people would take it, since there is a part of the special when Linus quotes the book of Luke from the Bible, and says that the birth of Christ is what Christmas is all about.
Most of the reviews were positive, saying that the Christmas special was part of Christmas, and was so important, and a tradition for their family, etc. At the very bottom, were six or seven negative reviews, which said basically the same thing: Charlie Brown Christmas promotes Christian propaganda by falsely claiming that Christmas is about the birth of Christ, which is entirely false.
Um, no. Let me explain.
Yes, before the birth of Christ, there were celebrations during the period we typically think of as the "Christmas season"--the problem is, they weren't Christmas. They were the Saturnalia, or other Greek, Norse, and Roman rituals which involved idol worship, blatant sexuality, and general drunkenness and debauchery. We do get lots of traditions from these celebrations--Yule logs, Christmas trees, and kissing under the mistletoe, to name a few. They were not, however, Christmas.
Christmas didn't come until many years later. It was originally created as a religious feast by the Catholic Church to celebrate the birth of Christ. Hence the name: Christmas=Christ's mass. Here's where many people tend to get confused. Though Christ was probably born in what we now call March or April, the Church chose to celebrate his birth in December--specifically, the last day of Saturnalia, on the 25th. Why? Because they hoped to shift the general populace's focus from general debauchery and sin to Christ and His coming. By choosing a day which the general populace was familiar with already for something the Church believed was negative, they hoped to change the focus to a positive one.
Basically, yes, there are winter celebrations which historically have occurred during the month of December, but no--these were not Christmas. Christmas as a holiday--the reason we celebrate it the way we do (and not with naked singing in the streets and mass orgies)--is because of the Catholic Church trying to change the focus to God. Whether you acknowledge that bit of history or not (and an increasing number of people choose not to) it's still not valid to claim that the true meaning of Christmas, and the reason behind it, isn't a religious one. I will never claim that Christmas can only be celebrated by Christians, but I disagree strongly with those who try to claim that Christians have made Christmas into another opportunity to push Christian propaganda.
However you feel about Christmas and the existence of Christ, I do wish you the very best Christmas season, and hope to continue blogging in the new year--hopefully more frequently.
By the way, my sources include (beyond my own knowledge) the History Channel website, and CNN. Googling the history of Christmas should give you some good, legitimate sites to increase your understanding, if you're interested in learning more about this holiday. If you find anything which contradicts what I have said, please let me know! I'm always open to learning more.
Merry Christmas!
Most of the reviews were positive, saying that the Christmas special was part of Christmas, and was so important, and a tradition for their family, etc. At the very bottom, were six or seven negative reviews, which said basically the same thing: Charlie Brown Christmas promotes Christian propaganda by falsely claiming that Christmas is about the birth of Christ, which is entirely false.
Um, no. Let me explain.
Yes, before the birth of Christ, there were celebrations during the period we typically think of as the "Christmas season"--the problem is, they weren't Christmas. They were the Saturnalia, or other Greek, Norse, and Roman rituals which involved idol worship, blatant sexuality, and general drunkenness and debauchery. We do get lots of traditions from these celebrations--Yule logs, Christmas trees, and kissing under the mistletoe, to name a few. They were not, however, Christmas.
Christmas didn't come until many years later. It was originally created as a religious feast by the Catholic Church to celebrate the birth of Christ. Hence the name: Christmas=Christ's mass. Here's where many people tend to get confused. Though Christ was probably born in what we now call March or April, the Church chose to celebrate his birth in December--specifically, the last day of Saturnalia, on the 25th. Why? Because they hoped to shift the general populace's focus from general debauchery and sin to Christ and His coming. By choosing a day which the general populace was familiar with already for something the Church believed was negative, they hoped to change the focus to a positive one.
Basically, yes, there are winter celebrations which historically have occurred during the month of December, but no--these were not Christmas. Christmas as a holiday--the reason we celebrate it the way we do (and not with naked singing in the streets and mass orgies)--is because of the Catholic Church trying to change the focus to God. Whether you acknowledge that bit of history or not (and an increasing number of people choose not to) it's still not valid to claim that the true meaning of Christmas, and the reason behind it, isn't a religious one. I will never claim that Christmas can only be celebrated by Christians, but I disagree strongly with those who try to claim that Christians have made Christmas into another opportunity to push Christian propaganda.
However you feel about Christmas and the existence of Christ, I do wish you the very best Christmas season, and hope to continue blogging in the new year--hopefully more frequently.
By the way, my sources include (beyond my own knowledge) the History Channel website, and CNN. Googling the history of Christmas should give you some good, legitimate sites to increase your understanding, if you're interested in learning more about this holiday. If you find anything which contradicts what I have said, please let me know! I'm always open to learning more.
Merry Christmas!
7.22.2013
Fear...which is sad
So I have a lot of friends. I do. I really do. (At least, I think I do)
Anyway, I have a lot of friends who I could tell about my blog. Sure, a couple of them know (shout out to Misha, Sammi, and Nicole). But most of them do not know about it. And I want to widen my audience, especially to people who know me, since a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.
But I'm terrified. Not least because a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.
I guess I'm afraid that people will judge me. Or worse, pity me. So when I say that I've had a lot of suck this summer, they'll say lame things like "Aw, don't worry. I'm sure it will get better!" or when I say that I'm ashamed of the way I represented myself and my school at Nationals, they'll say "You did great, and you couldn't have represented us any better!" (a lot of my friends are from forensics). And I don't want that. It is a fact that I have had some rough moments this summer. And I did not represent myself and my abilities fairly at Nationals. I don't want that fact diminished by their pity or made less of by the fact that they want me to feel better.
Which is why every time I start to post something on Facebook about my blog, i stop myself. Because as soon as I put it out there, there's no going back. Some people will click on the link, enter into my life.
Sure, half of them won't care. But some small percentage will not only care, but will read it.
And that's terrifying. Which is, honestly, kind of sad. Because behind my fear of pity and empathy is just straight up fear of people not thinking my writing is good. Thinking my content is lame. People being frustrated with the massive number of Doctor Who posts in the early days, frustrated with the minimal number of DW posts in the last few months...
So the question is: do I just do it, and see what happens? Or do I just leave all of my private thoughts and fears and feelings to be read by a select few friends and mostly people I don't know?
Anyway, I have a lot of friends who I could tell about my blog. Sure, a couple of them know (shout out to Misha, Sammi, and Nicole). But most of them do not know about it. And I want to widen my audience, especially to people who know me, since a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.
But I'm terrified. Not least because a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.
I guess I'm afraid that people will judge me. Or worse, pity me. So when I say that I've had a lot of suck this summer, they'll say lame things like "Aw, don't worry. I'm sure it will get better!" or when I say that I'm ashamed of the way I represented myself and my school at Nationals, they'll say "You did great, and you couldn't have represented us any better!" (a lot of my friends are from forensics). And I don't want that. It is a fact that I have had some rough moments this summer. And I did not represent myself and my abilities fairly at Nationals. I don't want that fact diminished by their pity or made less of by the fact that they want me to feel better.
Which is why every time I start to post something on Facebook about my blog, i stop myself. Because as soon as I put it out there, there's no going back. Some people will click on the link, enter into my life.
Sure, half of them won't care. But some small percentage will not only care, but will read it.
And that's terrifying. Which is, honestly, kind of sad. Because behind my fear of pity and empathy is just straight up fear of people not thinking my writing is good. Thinking my content is lame. People being frustrated with the massive number of Doctor Who posts in the early days, frustrated with the minimal number of DW posts in the last few months...
So the question is: do I just do it, and see what happens? Or do I just leave all of my private thoughts and fears and feelings to be read by a select few friends and mostly people I don't know?
Deep Thoughts Before 7
I really don't know what to post about. I just really wanted to be on my blog this morning. I went with my mom to drop my dad off before he leaves for a week for training. We left at 4:30, and got home at 5:15. It's 6:30 now. AM. Which means I am tired, my coffee is cold (which is depressing) and I am looking for things to do.
Today I get to go to lunch with my really good friend from school! We haven't seen each other all summer, so I'm pretty excited.
Then I have to do lunch with another friend this week, and I have a friend who wants to meet with me "soon" (I love it when people are ambiguous about when they want to meet and what they want to meet about), and another friend who I need to pull an all-nighter with, so we can bake things and shoot arrows at hay bales.
I still have a couple of things left on my Questing list. But I was telling a friend the other day, it feels like I have mostly fulfilled my quest. This summer has been fantastic. It has sucked so completely and yet I've never grown so much in one summer. I've done a lot of soul-searching, and found out a lot about myself, and tried as much as possible to prepare myself for this next year, and the years of adulthood after it. This summer has had a lot of suck in it, but it's also had a lot of not-suck in it. I've had more moments when I was so completely happy and at peace with the world than I've had in other years. It's been a good balance of good, suck, and learning.
Though I suppose the problem with all the soul-searching over the summer is that I'm going into the school year completely unstable. I still don't know what I want from life, and I have so many questions about myself that I need to answer. I have more uncertainty about my future and what I want, and if it's what I really want. I am still questioning the basis for my existence, and wondering if I've found the truth. Deep stuff to be taking into the craziest semester of my life. But I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time for me to do what I'm doing: there will always be something, I just sort of have to do it.
In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.
I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.
Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. Haha, it's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statemet on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it.
Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.
Today I get to go to lunch with my really good friend from school! We haven't seen each other all summer, so I'm pretty excited.
Then I have to do lunch with another friend this week, and I have a friend who wants to meet with me "soon" (I love it when people are ambiguous about when they want to meet and what they want to meet about), and another friend who I need to pull an all-nighter with, so we can bake things and shoot arrows at hay bales.
I still have a couple of things left on my Questing list. But I was telling a friend the other day, it feels like I have mostly fulfilled my quest. This summer has been fantastic. It has sucked so completely and yet I've never grown so much in one summer. I've done a lot of soul-searching, and found out a lot about myself, and tried as much as possible to prepare myself for this next year, and the years of adulthood after it. This summer has had a lot of suck in it, but it's also had a lot of not-suck in it. I've had more moments when I was so completely happy and at peace with the world than I've had in other years. It's been a good balance of good, suck, and learning.
Though I suppose the problem with all the soul-searching over the summer is that I'm going into the school year completely unstable. I still don't know what I want from life, and I have so many questions about myself that I need to answer. I have more uncertainty about my future and what I want, and if it's what I really want. I am still questioning the basis for my existence, and wondering if I've found the truth. Deep stuff to be taking into the craziest semester of my life. But I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time for me to do what I'm doing: there will always be something, I just sort of have to do it.
In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.
I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.
Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. Haha, it's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statemet on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it.
Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.
6.23.2013
Changes
I've been going through...changes.
No, not those kinds of changes.
Basically, everything in my life is changing, very fast, and it's scaring the crap out of me.
First: I'm taking a college class about Philosophy this summer, and it's really challenging to challenge everything you believe and really ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
Second: I start working at Starbucks this Tuesday, which is scary and exctiting at the same time. It's such a great company, and I've heard great things from people who have worked there--and it's my first job, too! Plus I really need a job--really badly--so I can start saving for college and maintain some level of independence with food and gas and things like that.
Third: Forensics. Basically, everything with forensics. I've grown a lot this year from it, from learning how to lose, to learning to win--to going to Nationals and realizing how much I wanted to win, and realizing the level of disappointment one can have in themselves when they know that they didn't do as much as they could have--that the reason they didn't do better is largely their fault.
Then, learning how to be a good friend--I've learned a lot about that, and I've completely changed as a friend, and I've learned how to deal with people that I don't particularly like, and I'm learning how to be okay with the fact that some people just aren't going to like me.
Then all of my friends are leaving (read: not all, but a good majority, and certainly my best friends). I'm going to miss all of them so much. Last night I said good-bye to one of them, and I realized that it might be the last time I see him ever again. With him and the others, it feels too soon: there is so much I want to do with them, tell them; for some of them I feel like I wasn't always the best friend I could have been. There's a hearbreaking combination of regret and sadness, as well as a feeling of empty, that overwhelms me: change.
This fall I'm going to be President of the team, and...there's just so much I want from next year--so much I feel my heart might burst. I want to be the best I can be. I know I worked this year, but I want to work so much harder next year because I know I'm better than what I gave at Nationals. I'm frankly ashamed of myself, and I want to redeem that next year: I want to prove myself to myself. I'm going to get to Nationals again next year, because I'm going to spend all year working on my technique, working on my arguments, working on my flowing--everything, so that I can kick butt and end up on that stage thanking my family and coaches before I read my speech in front of a few hundred people.
Fourth: I'm going to be on-campus at the college this fall, taking 17 credit hours towards my Associate's Degree, and that scares me as well--not only will I be on a campus I've never been at before, I'll be taking more work than I've taken before.
Fifth: I'm not going to date in high school. I know that sounds really melodramatic, but it's honestly a big deal, and certainly a change. I've been sort of hoping something would happen with someone for the last three years, and nothing has: and now I'm a senior, and looking at going to a school out-of-state when I graduate--not exactly a good time to start a relationship. But it's still a change of mindset for me.
Some of these are good changes, but all of them terrify me beyond belief. I was happy with where things were however many weeks ago--saying goodbye to my friends was a long way off, and I didn't have to worry about my future because it wasn't happening yet, and I had no way of knowing I would disappoint myself so painfully at Nationals.
There's no escaping them at this point: they're happening, and all I can do is try to enjoy the good changes and get through the hard ones.
No, not those kinds of changes.
Basically, everything in my life is changing, very fast, and it's scaring the crap out of me.
First: I'm taking a college class about Philosophy this summer, and it's really challenging to challenge everything you believe and really ask yourself why you believe what you believe.
Second: I start working at Starbucks this Tuesday, which is scary and exctiting at the same time. It's such a great company, and I've heard great things from people who have worked there--and it's my first job, too! Plus I really need a job--really badly--so I can start saving for college and maintain some level of independence with food and gas and things like that.
Third: Forensics. Basically, everything with forensics. I've grown a lot this year from it, from learning how to lose, to learning to win--to going to Nationals and realizing how much I wanted to win, and realizing the level of disappointment one can have in themselves when they know that they didn't do as much as they could have--that the reason they didn't do better is largely their fault.
Then, learning how to be a good friend--I've learned a lot about that, and I've completely changed as a friend, and I've learned how to deal with people that I don't particularly like, and I'm learning how to be okay with the fact that some people just aren't going to like me.
Then all of my friends are leaving (read: not all, but a good majority, and certainly my best friends). I'm going to miss all of them so much. Last night I said good-bye to one of them, and I realized that it might be the last time I see him ever again. With him and the others, it feels too soon: there is so much I want to do with them, tell them; for some of them I feel like I wasn't always the best friend I could have been. There's a hearbreaking combination of regret and sadness, as well as a feeling of empty, that overwhelms me: change.
This fall I'm going to be President of the team, and...there's just so much I want from next year--so much I feel my heart might burst. I want to be the best I can be. I know I worked this year, but I want to work so much harder next year because I know I'm better than what I gave at Nationals. I'm frankly ashamed of myself, and I want to redeem that next year: I want to prove myself to myself. I'm going to get to Nationals again next year, because I'm going to spend all year working on my technique, working on my arguments, working on my flowing--everything, so that I can kick butt and end up on that stage thanking my family and coaches before I read my speech in front of a few hundred people.
Fourth: I'm going to be on-campus at the college this fall, taking 17 credit hours towards my Associate's Degree, and that scares me as well--not only will I be on a campus I've never been at before, I'll be taking more work than I've taken before.
Fifth: I'm not going to date in high school. I know that sounds really melodramatic, but it's honestly a big deal, and certainly a change. I've been sort of hoping something would happen with someone for the last three years, and nothing has: and now I'm a senior, and looking at going to a school out-of-state when I graduate--not exactly a good time to start a relationship. But it's still a change of mindset for me.
Some of these are good changes, but all of them terrify me beyond belief. I was happy with where things were however many weeks ago--saying goodbye to my friends was a long way off, and I didn't have to worry about my future because it wasn't happening yet, and I had no way of knowing I would disappoint myself so painfully at Nationals.
There's no escaping them at this point: they're happening, and all I can do is try to enjoy the good changes and get through the hard ones.
Reasons
Reasons Why I Fail:
*I still haven't started my vlog (I've written the script, but I have yet to film it)
*I haven't posted on here in forever
*I still have a few episodes of Doctor Who to post about
*I was pathetically unprepared for Nationals, and so was knocked out during the preliminary rounds
*I have missed two days of my Philosophy class already, because I was at Nationals, and now I can't go tomorrow either because I have a dentist appointment--making that three classes in a row
Reasons Why Life is Good:
*My summer has actually started
*I had an awesome week with my team
*I start work on Tuesday
*I'm posting on my blog now
*Doctor Who comes back in five months (to the day)
*I have a three month break from forensics before I start getting into gear to rock people's socks for the next forensics season
*Life is going to get crazy and really good
A friend of mine asked me what my goals were for the next year, and I told him that it would have to be
A) to not get overwhelmed by everything going on around me (because it's a lot)
and
B) to enjoy everything going on around me (because it's all good)
I need to not stress myself out about everything I have to do and when I have to do it, and just realize that life will always be busy, but I'll get it all done--and remember to not get so caught up in how much I have to do that I forget to have fun doing it.
*I still haven't started my vlog (I've written the script, but I have yet to film it)
*I haven't posted on here in forever
*I still have a few episodes of Doctor Who to post about
*I was pathetically unprepared for Nationals, and so was knocked out during the preliminary rounds
*I have missed two days of my Philosophy class already, because I was at Nationals, and now I can't go tomorrow either because I have a dentist appointment--making that three classes in a row
Reasons Why Life is Good:
*My summer has actually started
*I had an awesome week with my team
*I start work on Tuesday
*I'm posting on my blog now
*Doctor Who comes back in five months (to the day)
*I have a three month break from forensics before I start getting into gear to rock people's socks for the next forensics season
*Life is going to get crazy and really good
A friend of mine asked me what my goals were for the next year, and I told him that it would have to be
A) to not get overwhelmed by everything going on around me (because it's a lot)
and
B) to enjoy everything going on around me (because it's all good)
I need to not stress myself out about everything I have to do and when I have to do it, and just realize that life will always be busy, but I'll get it all done--and remember to not get so caught up in how much I have to do that I forget to have fun doing it.
5.25.2013
My most popular post
After publishing the last post on Graduation, I started looking at the individual views for all of my posts, trying to find out which of my posts has the most views. For a while, it was one of my posts on the oovoo toolbar. Then I got to my Season 1 days, and there it was, with 24 views: Boom Town.
BOOM TOWN?! Boom Town is my most popular post? Why? I hated that episode! Of all seven seasons of Doctor Who that I've seen, that's probably my least favorite episode, and that's the post everyone reads? I was taken aback to say the least. My brother thinks it might be because it's the most interesting of all of my posts, but that's not true. My Oovoo toolbar updates are far more entertaining, and you would think recent Who (not season 1) would be the most viewed.
I'm just flabbergasted.
BOOM TOWN?! Boom Town is my most popular post? Why? I hated that episode! Of all seven seasons of Doctor Who that I've seen, that's probably my least favorite episode, and that's the post everyone reads? I was taken aback to say the least. My brother thinks it might be because it's the most interesting of all of my posts, but that's not true. My Oovoo toolbar updates are far more entertaining, and you would think recent Who (not season 1) would be the most viewed.
I'm just flabbergasted.
Graduation
So today is one of the days for graduation. The school I compete at is having their graduation today, so I have a lot of friends who are graduating today.
Initially, I wasn't going to go because I just didn't want to. I hear stories from people about how it's really like sitting for two hours and just hearing names called out, and cheering every once in a while for people you know.
And that just didn't sound fun to me.
Then this morning, I got a text from one of my friends who is graduating today, and she said something like, "You're coming to the ceremony tonight right?"
It was like a knife to the gut.
Because I guess I'd just assumed that the graduates wouldn't care if I came. That was my first mistake. Then, as I realized I had to tell her I couldn't come (for a legitimate reason), I realized that I actually wanted to go. I mean, it would be less exciting if I had to sit by myself, but if I found some friends who were also going, I could sit with them, and it would be fun cheering for my friends who I care about so much, and getting to see them afterwards and congratulate them.
And now I can't go, which is making me feel depressed. Why can't I go? Because earlier this week, when my mom asked me if I had anything going on on this particular night, I said no, because I thought I didn't want to go. So we're having someone over. Not that it won't be fun hanging out with this particular person, but I feel like a horrible human being for not going to the graduation, and it's all my fault that I can't go.
So, friend, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could come, but I can't. And now you know why.
BUT for all of my friends who are graduating today, I will probably be at your graduation parties tomorrow! So I'll still get to see you and congratulate you, even if it's not tonight. Though I wish it could be tonight. Okay, that's enough feeling sorry for myself.
Initially, I wasn't going to go because I just didn't want to. I hear stories from people about how it's really like sitting for two hours and just hearing names called out, and cheering every once in a while for people you know.
And that just didn't sound fun to me.
Then this morning, I got a text from one of my friends who is graduating today, and she said something like, "You're coming to the ceremony tonight right?"
It was like a knife to the gut.
Because I guess I'd just assumed that the graduates wouldn't care if I came. That was my first mistake. Then, as I realized I had to tell her I couldn't come (for a legitimate reason), I realized that I actually wanted to go. I mean, it would be less exciting if I had to sit by myself, but if I found some friends who were also going, I could sit with them, and it would be fun cheering for my friends who I care about so much, and getting to see them afterwards and congratulate them.
And now I can't go, which is making me feel depressed. Why can't I go? Because earlier this week, when my mom asked me if I had anything going on on this particular night, I said no, because I thought I didn't want to go. So we're having someone over. Not that it won't be fun hanging out with this particular person, but I feel like a horrible human being for not going to the graduation, and it's all my fault that I can't go.
So, friend, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could come, but I can't. And now you know why.
BUT for all of my friends who are graduating today, I will probably be at your graduation parties tomorrow! So I'll still get to see you and congratulate you, even if it's not tonight. Though I wish it could be tonight. Okay, that's enough feeling sorry for myself.
I think I'm going to do it. Finally.
Months ago (perhaps a year ago) I discussed on this blog my idea to do a vlog on YouTube, called Confessions of a Vamp1reslayr. I was going to do "confessions" every video, where I confessed that I was a fan of Doctor Who, or that I had a blog, or various other pointless tidbits about me and my life.
I've changed my mind. Not about having a vlog; that desire remains strong. But rather, I've changed my mind about what the vlog will be about. I'm not going to do Confessions. In fact, I won't probably have a theme.
So why am I going to start now? I'm inspired. It started, obviously, months ago, and then I talked myself out of it as school started and life got cray-cray. Then I started watching this "weekly" documentary called Becoming YouTube. Becoming YouTube is fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's all about YouTube and the YouTubers who make content, and the content that they make. From the start, it was inspiring, with its calls to people who want to make YouTube videos to actually make YouTube videos. Most inspiring was the episode on Girls on YouTube. This particular episode centered on the content that females make, and the responses they get, as well as the major discrepancy between females and males on YouTube. Frankly, not many females make YouTube videos. And if they do, they tend to be hair and makeup tutorials, not quality vlogs. That episode ended with a call to females to make content--and to make good content.
Yet, when that episode came out, I was deeply entrenched in my second semester of college-work, and had no time to start. Then I discovered Itswaypastmybedtime, a vlog created by Carrie Fletcher. Carrie is awesome. She's one of my favorite people on YouTube, and she makes really good vlogs. I fell in love with her videos, and I've been watching them regularly. And then, school ended, and I had all of these ideas about what I wanted to do with my summer. And vlogging hadn't occurred to me. Then just the other day (Thursday) we watched a movie called Indie Game, which is about Indie game developers. Which you wouldn't think is related to vlogging, but they were talking about the creative process, and how it was sort of like sending your kid to the first day of school, and you can only wait. And it just reminded me so much of what YouTubers say about YouTube, and the videos they upload, and so many different videos came to mind:
Becoming Youtube, every single episode
Charlieissocoollike, I'm Scared
Crabstickz, Quitting YouTube
(And no, I did not alphabetize those on purpose--though I did just finish fixing our movie stand for alphabetization)
And I realized right then: I wanted to start making YouTube videos. So I started thinking about when I could do it, and I was busy Thursday because I was going to a grad party, and Friday I had breakfast with a friend and a grad party, so I decided that today, Saturday, was going to be the day I made my first YouTube video.
We'll see if it actually happens. It's 2 pm already, and I haven't eaten lunch (it's almost ready), and I still have some chores to get done, and then we have someone coming over tonight (I dunno when) so we'll see if I actually have time to film it.
But I have an idea, I have the resolve, and I think I'm actually going to do it this time.
I think.
I've changed my mind. Not about having a vlog; that desire remains strong. But rather, I've changed my mind about what the vlog will be about. I'm not going to do Confessions. In fact, I won't probably have a theme.
So why am I going to start now? I'm inspired. It started, obviously, months ago, and then I talked myself out of it as school started and life got cray-cray. Then I started watching this "weekly" documentary called Becoming YouTube. Becoming YouTube is fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's all about YouTube and the YouTubers who make content, and the content that they make. From the start, it was inspiring, with its calls to people who want to make YouTube videos to actually make YouTube videos. Most inspiring was the episode on Girls on YouTube. This particular episode centered on the content that females make, and the responses they get, as well as the major discrepancy between females and males on YouTube. Frankly, not many females make YouTube videos. And if they do, they tend to be hair and makeup tutorials, not quality vlogs. That episode ended with a call to females to make content--and to make good content.
Yet, when that episode came out, I was deeply entrenched in my second semester of college-work, and had no time to start. Then I discovered Itswaypastmybedtime, a vlog created by Carrie Fletcher. Carrie is awesome. She's one of my favorite people on YouTube, and she makes really good vlogs. I fell in love with her videos, and I've been watching them regularly. And then, school ended, and I had all of these ideas about what I wanted to do with my summer. And vlogging hadn't occurred to me. Then just the other day (Thursday) we watched a movie called Indie Game, which is about Indie game developers. Which you wouldn't think is related to vlogging, but they were talking about the creative process, and how it was sort of like sending your kid to the first day of school, and you can only wait. And it just reminded me so much of what YouTubers say about YouTube, and the videos they upload, and so many different videos came to mind:
Becoming Youtube, every single episode
Charlieissocoollike, I'm Scared
Crabstickz, Quitting YouTube
(And no, I did not alphabetize those on purpose--though I did just finish fixing our movie stand for alphabetization)
And I realized right then: I wanted to start making YouTube videos. So I started thinking about when I could do it, and I was busy Thursday because I was going to a grad party, and Friday I had breakfast with a friend and a grad party, so I decided that today, Saturday, was going to be the day I made my first YouTube video.
We'll see if it actually happens. It's 2 pm already, and I haven't eaten lunch (it's almost ready), and I still have some chores to get done, and then we have someone coming over tonight (I dunno when) so we'll see if I actually have time to film it.
But I have an idea, I have the resolve, and I think I'm actually going to do it this time.
I think.
5.23.2013
Soccer
I wish I could get in shape. Honestly, I really do. Part of my desire to exercise is to lose a little bit of weight. But since I only have a little bit of weight that I really need to lose, my primary aim is to get in shape. I want to have muscles and be able to run, and things like that.
Besides, I just enjoy exercising.
Yet, for some reason, despite my very obvious desire to exercise, I have the greatest trouble actually doing it. For whatever reason, every time I decide that I want to exercise, my brain tries to sabotage me by coming up with excuses. Some of the excuses are good: it's snowing outside; you're sick and shouldn't over-exert yourself; you have a million other things to do...And some of the excuses are not good: but you could watch TV instead; you'd have to change your clothes; but you were about to eat lunch!
More often than not, I think I'm afraid to start exercising because in all of the times when I started exercising, I ended up stopping at some point for some reason. And if I know that it's not going to last, I think I end up asking myself:
What's the point?
All of this to set up what I actually want to talk about today. Last night was the Forensics Team Picnic, a time when the team gets together and attempts to grill food (and fails most of the time), announces Mock Awards, and elects officers for the upcoming season. The Picnic is also the time of the annual soccer game.
It happens every year. The seniors and alumni/coaches team up against everyone else in an epic game of soccer. We play barefoot and with street rules, though that doesn't stop the other team complaining about there being six different goalies, while they have people playing with their shoes on. It is a time to foster team cooperation and love.
For me, this was a great chance for me to exercise my competitive nature, and kill everyone else on the team. Not literally.
I had not had so much fun in such a long time. It was like all of the great things that I love about debate: being able to go on offense, and put others on defense, and attack, and use my skills to receive results. With an addendum: it was physical activity.
Gosh, I have missed physical activity. Again, I will repeat: it has been a very long time since I have exercised. So when my chest was restricting, and it was hard to breathe, and every part of my body wanted me to quit moving and go sit down, I could smile. I relished the feeling, and kept pushing myself. Instead of sitting down, I would spring harder than before. I would get right up with the ball, and kick it away from people, and follow where it went, and run over to the goalpost to try to be available for someone to pass it to me so I could kick it in (which they never did until I was incapable of shooting from where I was).
The other thing that was fantastic about it was that it was sort of all instinct. I knew how to kick the ball, and how to get the ball away from people. Obviously, I don't have any training (other than playing when I was in first and second grade), but it just felt good to play.
So I love soccer. If I was going to play any athletic sport, it would be soccer. In fact, I realized last night, if I could play soccer to get in shape, I would. Today, I'm sore in my thighs, calves, obliques, shoulders, and triceps. Not to mention how good I feel today simply from having the exercise. I could get in shape fast if I played soccer every couple of days. And now that's what I want to do. I think it would be fun to get friends together over the summer to just play soccer.
Maybe make it a regular thing, where like every Tuesday night or something we all just meet at the park; who can come comes, and we just play.
Or, I could just start running up in the mountains I live in now, and get in shape super quickly, and just play soccer when I can. Maybe I should buy a soccer ball.
Anyway, I need to start exercising, and I love soccer. And hopefully those two things will work together, and make my summer rock.
Besides, I just enjoy exercising.
Yet, for some reason, despite my very obvious desire to exercise, I have the greatest trouble actually doing it. For whatever reason, every time I decide that I want to exercise, my brain tries to sabotage me by coming up with excuses. Some of the excuses are good: it's snowing outside; you're sick and shouldn't over-exert yourself; you have a million other things to do...And some of the excuses are not good: but you could watch TV instead; you'd have to change your clothes; but you were about to eat lunch!
More often than not, I think I'm afraid to start exercising because in all of the times when I started exercising, I ended up stopping at some point for some reason. And if I know that it's not going to last, I think I end up asking myself:
What's the point?
All of this to set up what I actually want to talk about today. Last night was the Forensics Team Picnic, a time when the team gets together and attempts to grill food (and fails most of the time), announces Mock Awards, and elects officers for the upcoming season. The Picnic is also the time of the annual soccer game.
It happens every year. The seniors and alumni/coaches team up against everyone else in an epic game of soccer. We play barefoot and with street rules, though that doesn't stop the other team complaining about there being six different goalies, while they have people playing with their shoes on. It is a time to foster team cooperation and love.
For me, this was a great chance for me to exercise my competitive nature, and kill everyone else on the team. Not literally.
I had not had so much fun in such a long time. It was like all of the great things that I love about debate: being able to go on offense, and put others on defense, and attack, and use my skills to receive results. With an addendum: it was physical activity.
Gosh, I have missed physical activity. Again, I will repeat: it has been a very long time since I have exercised. So when my chest was restricting, and it was hard to breathe, and every part of my body wanted me to quit moving and go sit down, I could smile. I relished the feeling, and kept pushing myself. Instead of sitting down, I would spring harder than before. I would get right up with the ball, and kick it away from people, and follow where it went, and run over to the goalpost to try to be available for someone to pass it to me so I could kick it in (which they never did until I was incapable of shooting from where I was).
The other thing that was fantastic about it was that it was sort of all instinct. I knew how to kick the ball, and how to get the ball away from people. Obviously, I don't have any training (other than playing when I was in first and second grade), but it just felt good to play.
So I love soccer. If I was going to play any athletic sport, it would be soccer. In fact, I realized last night, if I could play soccer to get in shape, I would. Today, I'm sore in my thighs, calves, obliques, shoulders, and triceps. Not to mention how good I feel today simply from having the exercise. I could get in shape fast if I played soccer every couple of days. And now that's what I want to do. I think it would be fun to get friends together over the summer to just play soccer.
Maybe make it a regular thing, where like every Tuesday night or something we all just meet at the park; who can come comes, and we just play.
Or, I could just start running up in the mountains I live in now, and get in shape super quickly, and just play soccer when I can. Maybe I should buy a soccer ball.
Anyway, I need to start exercising, and I love soccer. And hopefully those two things will work together, and make my summer rock.
5.20.2013
Oh man
So I've seen the finale of Doctor Who. And I still had an episode before that one to review. And honestly, I don't particularly want to review it right now. To start, I need to see the finale again before I can truly process it. My mom says it's the best episode of Doctor Who ever, but I think I need to see it again before I can decide if I agree with her. There was some nice conclusion, with a couple of characters, and some nice humor, and some nice emotional moments and everything. It was a really good episode. Anyway, a full review coming later. Suffice it to say: Wow. I can't wait until November.
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