Let me explain. I'm probably the hugest procrastinator you will ever meet...ever. So the entire first semester of school, I've been behind. So going into the second semester, I'm behind on my reading for Les Miserables, Killer Angels, A History of the American People, Arguing About Slavery, pretty much all of my biographies (that I'm still trying to finish from last year), and Rob Roy (again, last year). I'm sure you're probably thinking right now, "Wow, what a loser." And yeah, I'm a loser. Thus my dilemma for this next semester. I have to wake up every single morning with the knowledge that I'm still going to be behind tomorrow. It's not the best feeling in the world, to say the least.
However, this year, particularly this semester, could potentially be the best semester of my life. Because I AM going to finish EVERYTHING this year. Everything I was supposed to do, is going to be done. Including the things I carried over from last year. But in the meantime, I have to deal with the guilt...not to mention stress over trying to get an A in Chemistry. Currently I have a C, but I just retook a test before break, and I think I got an A, so that's a good start. Right?
I suppose the worst thing about my whole school situation is that I know I'm better than this. I know I'm better than being this far behind on all of these subjects, and getting a C in a subject. But at the same time, it's the hardest thing on the planet to make myself live up to my potential. It's like a conscious effort second by second that seems to be painfully ripping something out of me little by little. But that's what my semester is going to be like. With forensics tournaments, art class, and trying to have a better social life on the side. But hey, plenty of people get a 4.0 GPA while spending every last second of their free time doing some sort of sport, and I don't have homework...I just need to kick my face and do it.
Jesus, please give me strength going into this semester. Please give me the strength to rise up to the task I have before me. It won't be easy, I know that, but I also know that I can do all things if You give me strength. I need You to help me get through this semester. In Jesus' Name, Amen.