Writing a book is like removing a tumor

Writing a book is like a removing a tumor. Let me explain. You have this idea. It is a million dollar idea. You immediately start creating characters, expanding the plot, exploring this brilliant idea. Maybe you write down like two sentences briefly explaining the plot. Then if it sticks, if you start to care about it, then it starts to grow. It becomes what you think about when you go to sleep at night. You start to obsess about it. You start making random connections in real life ("Hey, my character's favorite ice cream flavor is pistachio!"). It becomes...a tumor. But it's a tumor you enjoy having, at least for a little while. You don't realize the danger of having it until one day you come up with the brilliant idea of writing that story. *gasp!*

Now that becomes all you can think about. So you start writing scenes...in your head. You come up with dialogue, even actions, and begin to craft almost this entire novel, inside your brain. You write down one of those scenes, but it doesn't sound the way it did in your head. It actually hurt a little bit. So you go back--I mean, who wants to feel pain? You write and rewrite scenes, still in your head, but every time you write it out, you wince, because it hurt a little bit.

And it becomes this endless cycle of starting to remove the tumor of your story, and then stopping, and trying to live with it again. But once you start to feed the tumor, nurture it, even remove it, there is no going back to the way life used to be. You're stuck with this, and the only way it can end is if you just decide to sit your butt down and remove it, one little bit at a time, gritting your teeth through the poorly worded dialogue, lame plot twists, and undeveloped characters. And when it's done, you can sigh in relief. You've done it--the tumor is gone. You can finally go back to life! At least, until you get a great idea of how to fix that one chapter, and oh, that character could do this, which would totally fix that plot hiccup, and the tumor returns. And this time, the only way to get rid of it is to rewrite, and rewrite your book, until the tumor is gone.

Until one night, you're trying to fall asleep when suddenly you sit up--you've just come up with a fantastic idea!

...Writing a book is like removing a tumor. Thing is, I couldn't stop writing if I wanted to.



For those of you who don't know, I've applied for a full-ride scholarship to study Hindi abroad in India for six weeks next summer. I've already been made a semi-finalist, and all that separates me from going is an interview. I feel pretty confident, really, about getting the scholarship, I know I'm very qualified, and I know that I can handle myself well in an interview. Now I just worry about two things:
1. Pride comes before a fall. Am I being a little too overconfident? Am I setting myself up for failure? I am deathly afraid that I am jinxing myself, that it'll be like in a movie or TV show, where they're super confident about it, and they totally don't get it.
2. What if I do get it? Then, holy crap, I'm going to India for six weeks next summer! That's insane. It's incredibly difficult to wrap my brain around. And so now it's like, if I've got it in the bag (but again, see reason #1), what I really have to do now is prepare myself for actually going to India.

And then, of course, there are other minor worries, like my medical evaluation form, what if, when I go see the doctor, we find out that I have a disease that is jsut debilitating enough to keep me from going?! Or what if I get sent to New Delhi, rather than Pune, where I want to go. And then what if, when I get there, I don't like my host family, and we don't get along? Or, I can't get internet access to access my family and friends? I know that on like some Bollywood movies the families have a computer they use for email and stuff, but then there are other movies where they do not. Where they don't even have cell service.

So, as you can see, I've got several worries. But I just have to keep reminding myself that God will see me through it. Even if I don't have cell or internet for the entire six weeks, I won't be alone, because I will have Him. And even if my host family doesn't like me, I will still have Him. And even if I don't make it, there is always next year, and it was all a part of His plan. But still!

A Fresh Start

Hello, all you who have read my blog in the past. I deleted all of my previous posts because I knew that if I was going to do blogging again, I would want a fresh start. The main reason for this is that the things that interested me then for the most part aren't as interesting to me now. I have many more things that demand my attention beyond "Pure Poetry" and narrations of the trips I've taken. So this blog will be different. It will be about the things that interest me: video games, LD debate, moral philosophy, writing, books, and Hindi/India. Much of it will be me word vomiting onto the internet, trying to understand my own thoughts--which will interest those of you who want to explore my thought process. But it will be me, and the things that I am interested in, and the things that pretty much make up my life. So, welcome, to the Buff-n-Stuff blog.

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