2014: The year when I turn 18, graduate high school, earn my Associate's Degree, and begin working on my Bachelor's Degree. Theoretically, it should be a fantastic year.

And it's strange, because I don't know if it's like this every year (I became more socially aware this year...that is, I joined Twitter), but everyone claims that 2014 will be the best year yet. My favorite comment is by musical artist BriBry, who tweeted that "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke was voted the best song of 2013, which is proof that 2014 will be better. Which I appreciate, because I despise "Blurred Lines."

But at any rate, I am pretty happy that 2013 is over. There were some good moments, but I am so done with this year. And I'm ready to start my life, even if that means a lot more responsibility and difficult choices...it feels like I'm on the brink of the rest of my life, and adulthood, and that's exciting, even if it's a little bit scary. Terrifying, really.

So with that in mind, I lay forth my resolutions. No, I am not doing resolutions for the entire year. This year, I decided to try something different: resolutions by month. That way, it's easier to tackle a few things at a time, and that the goals/resolutions can evolve and progress with me, throughout the year. My resolutions for the month of January are as follows:

1. Take better care of myself
-Floss and brush so consistently I put my dentist to shame
-Eat regularly, and eat less junk food

2. Achieve my forensics goals
-Work on my time management during my speeches
-Perfect my humor
-Focus less on the less round, and more on the upcoming one

-FAFSA complete
-Scholarship or two a week? Ideally?
-Write 5,000 words in my book. (You didn't see that, and I'm not talking about it)
-Finish Christmas presents for friends (Yes, I'm a failure at presents)

So those are my three for the month of January. Hopefully, I will remember to do this at the beginning/end of every month.

Happy new year!

EDIT: If I do have a resolution for this year, it would have to be to stop and enjoy everything going on. There's going to be a lot going on this year, but I don't want to get caught up in the stress and craziness and all of the things, and totally miss out on one of the best times of my life.


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Lessons from a Long Semester

I have finished the semester. I actually finished my semester ten days ago, but I've been ridiculously busy doing a lot of nothing since then.

But I thought I would blog about what I've learned over the course of this semester, since I've learned a lot. Maybe some of them will help you if you ever have a 17-credit semester while maintaining a part-time job.

First: Staying up super late becomes a habit very quickly.

I had thought that when I didn't have to stay up super late every night to do homework, I would go to bed at 9:30 or 10 every night, and be responsible, and get super rested, etc. Nope. Actually, I've been staying up about as late as I used to, just sleeping in longer in the mornings. It's strange if I'm in bed before 11, and not altogether unusual for it to be after midnight before I turn out the lights. All this to say, maintaining healthy sleeping habits as much as possible is a good idea, because it becomes a very difficult habit to break, and one which I'm sure will end up costing me next semester, when I can't sleep til 10 or 11 in the morning every day.

Second: Make lists.

Sometimes lists can stress people out, but lists are a good way to make sure you don't forget anything. If you have a list down of everything you need to do (even little things like emailing your forensics coach) is a good idea. Even better? Write down how much time each thing will take. It's easy to become overwhelmed when there are twenty things on your list, but when ten of those things take two minutes each, it's easier to handle.

Third: Pick TV shows and movies you've already seen.

Now this applies to only certain people. It was my favorite part of this semester, actually. I watched a lot of TV and movies this semester. I either watched them when I was upstairs with my family, with my laptop in front of me, or let it play background on my laptop while I wrote papers. If you are like me, and can't work with complete silence, then play things in the background! Don't listen to scientists with their crap about multi-tasking! Multi-task if it helps you think. Chances are, you'll stop paying attention to your movie or music, allowing you to focus on your paper, but the very existence of the background sound will help keep your brain quiet. Watching things you've already seen helps you focus better, because you already know what happens. Also, it can help if you watch certain things while you do certain subjects, like for studying, because you'll relate the two. As an example, I did really well during my economics class because I binge-watched Veronica Mars while I did my homework, so I permanently associated the two, helping me remember better.

Fourth: Plan at least one day a month on which to go do something fun.

Take the day off of work, ignore your homework, and go to lunch, go to a movie, hang out with friends. Get out of the house, and let yourself breathe for a little while. I only planned one of these, and I really should have done more. But I loved that day, because it felt so good to just let yourself be irresponsible for once, and not let yourself feel guilty about it. Bonus points if you make a rule with your friends to not talk about school.

Fifth: Listen to your friends and family.

Half of them have really good advice. The other half are in it with you. Listen to their advice. If they say you're making a mountain out of a molehill, you probably are (list-making helps with that). If they say you need a break, take a break. The best advice they'll give you is to sleep--that one is the one you need to listen to most of all, because sleep deprivation isn't good for anyone. The people who are in it with you are probably more likely to be okay with listening to the list of all the things you have to do, and they might be in the same situation you are. They have probably also figured out tricks for dealing with their own craziness. If nothing else, you can threaten each other if you don't finish your homework.

Sixth (and finally): Go to people who know.

We all know one person who is awesome. We like to think of them as perfect human beings. They're the ones who took eight classes, had a job, and competed in four different sports, all at once. And somehow didn't lose their minds. Ask their advice. That was the best thing I did this entire semester. I asked my friend Maddi (love you friend), and she had some really good advice which really helped me (hint: TV shows and list-making with time estimates--sound familiar?). If nothing else, they can encourage you that the world will not end, and you will feel SO GOOD when the semester is over.

So this semester is finally over, and I have maintained my weighted 4.0 GPA, and am happily looking forward to my 13-credit semester (I'm taking French 2, Geology, Jazz Dance, and Ethics--dare I say, best semester ever?) and spending lots of time on forensics. I made it through this semester, and ultimately the greatest thing I learned is not to doubt God. My sanity is intact because of Him, and His faithfulness. So I'd say, if you ever feel overwhelmed, don't discount the awesome ability of God to get you through whatever you're going through. Praise the Lord it's all over!!!

BTW, I got my first acceptance letter!

Christmas Clarification

I was looking through the IMDb page for A Charlie Brown Christmas when I stumbled upon the reviews for the special. I was interested how people would take it, since there is a part of the special when Linus quotes the book of Luke from the Bible, and says that the birth of Christ is what Christmas is all about.

Most of the reviews were positive, saying that the Christmas special was part of Christmas, and was so important, and a tradition for their family, etc. At the very bottom, were six or seven negative reviews, which said basically the same thing: Charlie Brown Christmas promotes Christian propaganda by falsely claiming that Christmas is about the birth of Christ, which is entirely false.

Um, no. Let me explain.

Yes, before the birth of Christ, there were celebrations during the period we typically think of as the "Christmas season"--the problem is, they weren't Christmas. They were the Saturnalia, or other Greek, Norse, and Roman rituals which involved idol worship, blatant sexuality, and general drunkenness and debauchery. We do get lots of traditions from these celebrations--Yule logs, Christmas trees, and kissing under the mistletoe, to name a few. They were not, however, Christmas.

Christmas didn't come until many years later. It was originally created as a religious feast by the Catholic Church to celebrate the birth of Christ. Hence the name: Christmas=Christ's mass. Here's where many people tend to get confused. Though Christ was probably born in what we now call March or April, the Church chose to celebrate his birth in December--specifically, the last day of Saturnalia, on the 25th. Why? Because they hoped to shift the general populace's focus from general debauchery and sin to Christ and His coming.  By choosing a day which the general populace was familiar with already for something the Church believed was negative, they hoped to change the focus to a positive one.

Basically, yes, there are winter celebrations which historically have occurred during the month of December, but no--these were not Christmas. Christmas as a holiday--the reason we celebrate it the way we do (and not with naked singing in the streets and mass orgies)--is because of the Catholic Church trying to change the focus to God. Whether you acknowledge that bit of history or not (and an increasing number of people choose not to) it's still not valid to claim that the true meaning of Christmas, and the reason behind it, isn't a religious one. I will never claim that Christmas can only be celebrated by Christians, but I disagree strongly with those who try to claim that Christians have made Christmas into another opportunity to push Christian propaganda.

However you feel about Christmas and the existence of Christ, I do wish you the very best Christmas season, and hope to continue blogging in the new year--hopefully more frequently.

By the way, my sources include (beyond my own knowledge) the History Channel website, and CNN. Googling the history of Christmas should give you some good, legitimate sites to increase your understanding, if you're interested in learning more about this holiday. If you find anything which contradicts what I have said, please let me know! I'm always open to learning more.

Merry Christmas!


Fear...which is sad

So I have a lot of friends. I do. I really do. (At least, I think I do)

Anyway, I have a lot of friends who I could tell about my blog. Sure, a couple of them know (shout out to Misha, Sammi, and Nicole). But most of them do not know about it. And I want to widen my audience, especially to people who know me, since a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.

But I'm terrified. Not least because a lot of what I share on this blog is really personal.

I guess I'm afraid that people will judge me. Or worse, pity me. So when I say that I've had a lot of suck this summer, they'll say lame things like "Aw, don't worry. I'm sure it will get better!" or when I say that I'm ashamed of the way I represented myself and my school at Nationals, they'll say "You did great, and you couldn't have represented us any better!" (a lot of my friends are from forensics). And I don't want that. It is a fact that I have had some rough moments this summer. And I did not represent myself and my abilities fairly at Nationals. I don't want that fact diminished by their pity or made less of by the fact that they want me to feel better.

Which is why every time I start to post something on Facebook about my blog, i stop myself. Because as soon as I put it out there, there's no going back. Some people will click on the link, enter into my life.

Sure, half of them won't care. But some small percentage will not only care, but will read it.

And that's terrifying. Which is, honestly, kind of sad. Because behind my fear of pity and empathy is just straight up fear of people not thinking my writing is good. Thinking my content is lame. People being frustrated with the massive number of Doctor Who posts in the early days, frustrated with the minimal number of DW posts in the last few months...

So the question is: do I just do it, and see what happens? Or do I just leave all of my private thoughts and fears and feelings to be read by a select few friends and mostly people I don't know?

Deep Thoughts Before 7

I really don't know what to post about. I just really wanted to be on my blog this morning. I went with my mom to drop my dad off before he leaves for a week for training. We left at 4:30, and got home at 5:15. It's 6:30 now. AM. Which means I am tired, my coffee is cold (which is depressing) and I am looking for things to do.

Today I get to go to lunch with my really good friend from school! We haven't seen each other all summer, so I'm pretty excited.

Then I have to do lunch with another friend this week, and I have a friend who wants to meet with me "soon" (I love it when people are ambiguous about when they want to meet and what they want to meet about), and another friend who I need to pull an all-nighter with, so we can bake things and shoot arrows at hay bales.

I still have a couple of things left on my Questing list. But I was telling a friend the other day, it feels like I have mostly fulfilled my quest. This summer has been fantastic. It has sucked so completely and yet I've never grown so much in one summer. I've done a lot of soul-searching, and found out a lot about myself, and tried as much as possible to prepare myself for this next year, and the years of adulthood after it. This summer has had a lot of suck in it, but it's also had a lot of not-suck in it. I've had more moments when I was so completely happy and at peace with the world than I've had in other years. It's been a good balance of good, suck, and learning.

Though I suppose the problem with all the soul-searching over the summer is that I'm going into the school year completely unstable. I still don't know what I want from life, and I have so many questions about myself that I need to answer. I have more uncertainty about my future and what I want, and if it's what I really want. I am still questioning the basis for my existence, and wondering if I've found the truth. Deep stuff to be taking into the craziest semester of my life. But I don't know if there's ever going to be a good time for me to do what I'm doing: there will always be something, I just sort of have to do it.

In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.

I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.

Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. Haha, it's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statemet on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it.

Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.



I've been going through...changes.

No, not those kinds of changes.

Basically, everything in my life is changing, very fast, and it's scaring the crap out of me.

First: I'm taking a college class about Philosophy this summer, and it's really challenging to challenge everything you believe and really ask yourself why you believe what you believe.

Second: I start working at Starbucks this Tuesday, which is scary and exctiting at the same time. It's such a great company, and I've heard great things from people who have worked there--and it's my first job, too! Plus I really need a job--really badly--so I can start saving for college and maintain some level of independence with food and gas and things like that.

Third: Forensics. Basically, everything with forensics. I've grown a lot this year from it, from learning how to lose, to learning to win--to going to Nationals and realizing how much I wanted to win, and realizing the level of disappointment one can have in themselves when they know that they didn't do as much as they could have--that the reason they didn't do better is largely their fault.

Then, learning how to be a good friend--I've learned a lot about that, and I've completely changed as a friend, and I've learned how to deal with people that I don't particularly like, and I'm learning how to be okay with the fact that some people just aren't going to like me.

Then all of my friends are leaving (read: not all, but a good majority, and certainly my best friends). I'm going to miss all of them so much. Last night I said good-bye to one of them, and I realized that it might be the last time I see him ever again. With him and the others, it feels too soon: there is so much I want to do with them, tell them; for some of them I feel like I wasn't always the best friend I could have been. There's a hearbreaking combination of regret and sadness, as well as a feeling of empty, that overwhelms me: change.

This fall I'm going to be President of the team, and...there's just so much I want from next year--so much I feel my heart might burst. I want to be the best I can be. I know I worked this year, but I want to work so much harder next year because I know I'm better than what I gave at Nationals. I'm frankly ashamed of myself, and I want to redeem that next year: I want to prove myself to myself. I'm going to get to Nationals again next year, because I'm going to spend all year working on my technique, working on my arguments, working on my flowing--everything, so that I can kick butt and end up on that stage thanking my family and coaches before I read my speech in front of a few hundred people.

Fourth: I'm going to be on-campus at the college this fall, taking 17 credit hours towards my Associate's Degree, and that scares me as well--not only will I be on a campus I've never been at before, I'll be taking more work than I've taken before.

Fifth: I'm not going to date in high school. I know that sounds really melodramatic, but it's honestly a big deal, and certainly a change. I've been sort of hoping something would happen with someone for the last three years, and nothing has: and now I'm a senior, and looking at going to a school out-of-state when I graduate--not exactly a good time to start a relationship. But it's still a change of mindset for me.

Some of these are good changes, but all of them terrify me beyond belief. I was happy with where things were however many weeks ago--saying goodbye to my friends was a long way off, and I didn't have to worry about my future because it wasn't happening yet, and I had no way of knowing I would disappoint myself so painfully at Nationals.

There's no escaping them at this point: they're happening, and all I can do is try to enjoy the good changes and get through the hard ones.


Reasons Why I Fail: 

*I still haven't started my vlog (I've written the script, but I have yet to film it)

*I haven't posted on here in forever

*I still have a few episodes of Doctor Who to post about

*I was pathetically unprepared for Nationals, and so was knocked out during the preliminary rounds

*I have missed two days of my Philosophy class already, because I was at Nationals, and now I can't go tomorrow either because I have a dentist appointment--making that three classes in a row

Reasons Why Life is Good:

*My summer has actually started

*I had an awesome week with my team

*I start work on Tuesday

*I'm posting on my blog now

*Doctor Who comes back in five months (to the day)

*I have a three month break from forensics before I start getting into gear to rock people's socks for the next forensics season

*Life is going to get crazy and really good

A friend of mine asked me what my goals were for the next year, and I told him that it would have to be

A) to not get overwhelmed by everything going on around me (because it's a lot)
B) to enjoy everything going on around me (because it's all good)

I need to not stress myself out about everything I have to do and when I have to do it, and just realize that life will always be busy, but I'll get it all done--and remember to not get so caught up in how much I have to do that I forget to have fun doing it.


My most popular post

After publishing the last post on Graduation, I started looking at the individual views for all of my posts, trying to find out which of my posts has the most views. For a while, it was one of my posts on the oovoo toolbar. Then I got to my Season 1 days, and there it was, with 24 views: Boom Town.

BOOM TOWN?! Boom Town is my most popular post? Why? I hated that episode! Of all seven seasons of Doctor Who that I've seen, that's probably my least favorite episode, and that's the post everyone reads? I was taken aback to say the least. My brother thinks it might be because it's the most interesting of all of my posts, but that's not true. My Oovoo toolbar updates are far more entertaining, and you would think recent Who (not season 1) would be the most viewed.

I'm just flabbergasted.


So today is one of the days for graduation. The school I compete at is having their graduation today, so I have a lot of friends who are graduating today.

Initially, I wasn't going to go because I just didn't want to. I hear stories from people about how it's really like sitting for two hours and just hearing names called out, and cheering every once in a while for people you know.

And that just didn't sound fun to me.

Then this morning, I got a text from one of my friends who is graduating today, and she said something like, "You're coming to the ceremony tonight right?"

It was like a knife to the gut.

Because I guess I'd just assumed that the graduates wouldn't care if I came. That was my first mistake. Then, as I realized I had to tell her I couldn't come (for a legitimate reason), I realized that I actually wanted to go. I mean, it would be less exciting if I had to sit by myself, but if I found some friends who were also going, I could sit with them, and it would be fun cheering for my friends who I care about so much, and getting to see them afterwards and congratulate them.

And now I can't go, which is making me feel depressed. Why can't I go? Because earlier this week, when my mom asked me if I had anything going on on this particular night, I said no, because I thought I didn't want to go. So we're having someone over. Not that it won't be fun hanging out with this particular person, but I feel like a horrible human being for not going to the graduation, and it's all my fault that I can't go.

So, friend, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I wish I could come, but I can't. And now you know why.

BUT for all of my friends who are graduating today, I will probably be at your graduation parties tomorrow! So I'll still get to see you and congratulate you, even if it's not tonight. Though I wish it could be tonight. Okay, that's enough feeling sorry for myself.

I think I'm going to do it. Finally.

Months ago (perhaps a year ago) I discussed on this blog my idea to do a vlog on YouTube, called Confessions of a Vamp1reslayr. I was going to do "confessions" every video, where I confessed that I was a fan of Doctor Who, or that I had a blog, or various other pointless tidbits about me and my life.

I've changed my mind. Not about having a vlog; that desire remains strong. But rather, I've changed my mind about what the vlog will be about. I'm not going to do Confessions. In fact, I won't probably have a theme.

So why am I going to start now? I'm inspired. It started, obviously, months ago, and then I talked myself out of it as school started and life got cray-cray. Then I started watching this "weekly" documentary called Becoming YouTube. Becoming YouTube is fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. It's all about YouTube and the YouTubers who make content, and the content that they make. From the start, it was inspiring, with its calls to people who want to make YouTube videos to actually make YouTube videos. Most inspiring was the episode on Girls on YouTube. This particular episode centered on the content that females make, and the responses they get, as well as the major discrepancy between females and males on YouTube. Frankly, not many females make YouTube videos. And if they do, they tend to be hair and makeup tutorials, not quality vlogs. That episode ended with a call to females to make content--and to make good content.

Yet, when that episode came out, I was deeply entrenched in my second semester of college-work, and had no time to start. Then I discovered Itswaypastmybedtime, a vlog created by Carrie Fletcher. Carrie is awesome. She's one of my favorite people on YouTube, and she makes really good vlogs. I fell in love with her videos, and I've been watching them regularly. And then, school ended, and I had all of these ideas about what I wanted to do with my summer. And vlogging hadn't occurred to me. Then just the other day (Thursday) we watched a movie called Indie Game, which is about Indie game developers. Which you wouldn't think is related to vlogging, but they were talking about the creative process, and how it was sort of like sending your kid to the first day of school, and you can only wait. And it just reminded me so much of what YouTubers say about YouTube, and the videos they upload, and so many different videos came to mind:
Becoming Youtube, every single episode
Charlieissocoollike, I'm Scared
Crabstickz, Quitting YouTube

(And no, I did not alphabetize those on purpose--though I did just finish fixing our movie stand for alphabetization)

And I realized right then: I wanted to start making YouTube videos. So I started thinking about when I could do it, and I was busy Thursday because I was going to a grad party, and Friday I had breakfast with a friend and a grad party, so I decided that today, Saturday, was going to be the day I made my first YouTube video.

We'll see if it actually happens. It's 2 pm already, and I haven't eaten lunch (it's almost ready), and I still have some chores to get done, and then we have someone coming over tonight (I dunno when) so we'll see if I actually have time to film it.

But I have an idea, I have the resolve, and I think I'm actually going to do it this time.

I think.



I wish I could get in shape. Honestly, I really do. Part of my desire to exercise is to lose a little bit of weight. But since I only have a little bit of weight that I really need to lose, my primary aim is to get in shape. I want to have muscles and be able to run, and things like that.

Besides, I just enjoy exercising.

Yet, for some reason, despite my very obvious desire to exercise, I have the greatest trouble actually doing it. For whatever reason, every time I decide that I want to exercise, my brain tries to sabotage me by coming up with excuses. Some of the excuses are good: it's snowing outside; you're sick and shouldn't over-exert yourself; you have a million other things to do...And some of the excuses are not good: but you could watch TV instead; you'd have to change your clothes; but you were about to eat lunch!

More often than not, I think I'm afraid to start exercising because in all of the times when I started exercising, I ended up stopping at some point for some reason. And if I know that it's not going to last, I think I end up asking myself:

What's the point?

All of this to set up what I actually want to talk about today. Last night was the Forensics Team Picnic, a time when the team gets together and attempts to grill food (and fails most of the time), announces Mock Awards, and elects officers for the upcoming season. The Picnic is also the time of the annual soccer game.

It happens every year. The seniors and alumni/coaches team up against everyone else in an epic game of soccer. We play barefoot and with street rules, though that doesn't stop the other team complaining about there being six different goalies, while they have people playing with their shoes on. It is a time to foster team cooperation and love.

For me, this was a great chance for me to exercise my competitive nature, and kill everyone else on the team. Not literally.

I had not had so much fun in such a long time. It was like all of the great things that I love about debate: being able to go on offense, and put others on defense, and attack, and use my skills to receive results. With an addendum: it was physical activity.

Gosh, I have missed physical activity. Again, I will repeat: it has been a very long time since I have exercised. So when my chest was restricting, and it was hard to breathe, and every part of my body wanted me to quit moving and go sit down, I could smile. I relished the feeling, and kept pushing myself. Instead of sitting down, I would spring harder than before. I would get right up with the ball, and kick it away from people, and follow where it went, and run over to the goalpost to try to be available for someone to pass it to me so I could kick it in (which they never did until I was incapable of shooting from where I was).

The other thing that was fantastic about it was that it was sort of all instinct. I knew how to kick the ball, and how to get the ball away from people. Obviously, I don't have any training (other than playing when I was in first and second grade), but it just felt good to play.

So I love soccer. If I was going to play any athletic sport, it would be soccer. In fact, I realized last night, if I could play soccer to get in shape, I would. Today, I'm sore in my thighs, calves, obliques, shoulders, and triceps. Not to mention how good I feel today simply from having the exercise. I could get in shape fast if I played soccer every couple of days. And now that's what I want to do. I think it would be fun to get friends together over the summer to just play soccer.

Maybe make it a regular thing, where like every Tuesday night or something we all just meet at the park; who can come comes, and we just play.

Or, I could just start running up in the mountains I live in now, and get in shape super quickly, and just play soccer when I can. Maybe I should buy a soccer ball.

Anyway, I need to start exercising, and I love soccer. And hopefully those two things will work together, and make my summer rock.


Oh man

So I've seen the finale of Doctor Who. And I still had an episode before that one to review. And honestly, I don't particularly want to review it right now. To start, I need to see the finale again before I can truly process it. My mom says it's the best episode of Doctor Who ever, but I think I need to see it again before I can decide if I agree with her. There was some nice conclusion, with a couple of characters, and some nice humor, and some nice emotional moments and everything. It was a really good episode. Anyway, a full review coming later. Suffice it to say: Wow. I can't wait until November.


My Quest (The Best of Times)

There's a book by Sarah Dessen, called Along for the Ride. It's really good. Basically there's this girl named Auden who missed out on a lot of things from her childhood, and through her friendship with this guy named Eli learns how to regain certain parts of her childhood, and learns to be okay with changing. A lot lately I've been thinking about how I want this summer to be amazing. Even before I read this book for the second time. I decided to re-read it in part because of my desire for this summer to be epic.

Basically in the book she has this "quest," in which she has this sort of list of things to do in order to make up for lost time. This includes bowling, learning how to ride a bike, having food fights, and things she never got to do. Stuff like that. Her goal, basically, is to have "the best of times."

This summer, I'm going on a quest, like the one in the book. While I obviously had a good childhood, and didn't "miss out" on anything super huge, there are things that I didn't get to do, and things that I haven't done enough. So I've decided that this summer, I'm going to do them.

This sounds extremely cheesy. Basically, I want this summer to be the best of times. It's not like it's the summer before I go to college, it's just before my senior year, but I think it's coming at a really good time. Lately I've been struggling with complacency. There are a lot of things that I do wrong, and that I frequently fail at, but for some reason I put up with it, because I'm afraid of changing. I'm afraid of living without those things, because they've become like a crutch. I've become complacent with the fact that there are things I haven't done, and that there are things I need to do that I haven't been doing. I haven't cared enough, but I'm finally sick of it. I'm going to do something about it.

I live in the basement, meaning that my window has this little window well outside of it, but unlike the ugly metal ones I'm used to seeing, there are these like little wooden planter steps leading out of it. I've set up the space beside my window to sit and look out the window, and read, or look out at the stars, but I haven't been doing it, and I still haven't gone out of the window. So today I did. I pushed the screen out (don't worry Mom and Dad, if you're reading this, I didn't break it or hurt it) and just stepped out for a second. Again, going into cheese-ville, it felt like the start of something. You know? Like I was finally going out of my comfort zone, finally doing something I've wanted to do. I had stopped being complacent. So, in my pajamas, in the middle of the mess that was my room, I just had a sort of shouting match with myself, with lots of talking about how I wasn't going to be okay with simple adequacy, that I was going to demand more from myself.

Anyway. This summer I've got a quest. My quest involves some of the following:

--Eating an entire batch of cookie dough with someone in one sitting

--Pulling an all-nighter with friends

--Going to a drive-in

--Eating at Chick-fil-a (because it tastes good, and I haven't been in a while)

--Eating ice cream (not frozen yogurt, which is good, but I miss ice cream)

--Going to the movie theater

--Taking pictures of everything, and putting them in an album on Facebook called "The Best of Times."

This is my quest.


So I'm done with school. I have one day left: two classes, in one I get doughnuts and to look at a test I already know I passed; in the other, I eat candy and watch a movie. So all of my finals are done. 4.0 College GPA, and 27 credits later, I've come so far.

Seriously. So much has happened this year. There's the obvious, like going to a public-ish school for the first time since third grade (full time), and going to college. But I've learned a lot about myself, and my intellect and abilities, but also the extent of my ego, and my limits. I know my limits better now, and understand how far I can go without overdoing it, and I know, too, that when I push myself, I can get a lot done. I learned to trust in God a lot more (though I still failed). I guess I learned the necessity of it a lot more than before, and I understand better how to trust in Him than I did at the beginning of the schoolyear.

I've been pushed to my limits and had times of ease. I've had to learn how to deal with different temptations of different kinds, and had to learn how to be a good friend with people, even when they piss me off. I dunno. I've just learned so much. I've been stretched so much. And now I'm going to stretch myself further. More on that in the next post. Suffice it to say that for now I'm done with school. Yay.

Doctor Who S7: E11--The Crimson Horror

This is a week late. But I'm watching the newest episode now, so I thought it was about time I looked back at last week's episode...

Episode summary: Jenny and Madame Whats-her-face Silurian and Strax start investigating Sweetsville, or something (sorry, I'm fuzzy on the names), and discover that the curator of the "city" is actually converting everyone into dolls, or something, including the Doctor. Then the Doctor comes back, and he has to save Clara. What was fun was that Jenny and Madame Silurian know Clara as dead, so they're totally confused that she's still alive.

I didn't love this episode. It wasn't bad, it just wasn't very good. It was just sort of blah. It started out slowly, and the whole side story with the blind girl and her "Monster," was kind of lame (though I liked that the Doctor was her "Monster"). I dunno. It was just sort of boring. It didn't keep my attention or keep me guessing, like Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS did. This episode is really good so far, too, so I'll talk about that when I'm done.

Actual 100th post!!! I thought the previous one was 100, but apparently I had a drafted post that the blog was counting as one of them. So this is post 100. Exciting! Especially because I have about 1300 views or so, which is fun. Yay blogs!!!


English Post 2: Super Battle

Prompt: Pit superheroes against each other; who will win?

Superman vs. Batman

Here we have the guy with all the power vs the guy with all the gadgets. Probably Superman would win, because he'd just punch a hole in Batman's armor, carry the unconscious Batman over the ocean, and drop him.

Superman vs. Spiderman

You'd think the answer would be obvious, but we might have an underdog in Spiderman. As far as powers go, he cannot match Superman. Spiderman has endurance, though. He won't give up. I think this would be the best fight (of the two mentioned), especially if it occurred movie-style, with lots of different face-offs. Then we'd see a lot of Superman beating Spiderman up, and Spiderman not giving up, but learning from Superman each time (assuming Superman doesn't have a lapse of conscience, as he did in Man of Steel). So then, with all his intelligence and science buddies, Spiderman might even figure out Superman's weakness, and there would be this great moment where Spiderman's face will be all bloody, and awesome, and he's standing over Superman, who looks untouched, but afraid. Then Spiderman would choose not to kill Superman, because of honor and mercy and things.

Then the question becomes, if Superman beat Batman, and Spiderman beat Superman, could Spiderman beat Batman?



Written by me; please reuse with permission.


English Post 1: Finally Mine

Prompt: After all these years, it was finally there, right in front of him...

He stared at it longingly. He imagined what it would be like to hold, smell, touch. He had waited for this day for so long, it suddenly seemed wrong to have it. It felt like at any moment someone would jump out from behind something, and tell him he couldn't have it--not yet.

He shuddered at the thought. He had done too much, waited too long to stop now. All those things he'd done to get here. The things he'd stolen, the people he had used -- killed -- for one moment the weight of his crimes came crashing down, and he was overcome. He fell to the ground, squeezing his eyes shut against the pain and then --

It was gone. The pain would come, but it never stayed for long, pausing just long enough to remind him that he was human.

"Not anymore," he whispered. He looked back up at the object of his obsession. "Never again."

He stood, grabbing hold of it, and it was finished.

He got his wish. Oh, that fate might have prevented this wish from coming true.

Written by me; please ask permission before reuse.



Coming of Age (minus one)

In March I had my seventeenth birthday, which was interesting.

For starters, the Monday before my birthday, we moved houses. We're now living up in the mountains near *undisclosed location* and it's pretty cool. Maybe I'll give more details at a later date. So that Monday, and Tuesday, and even Wednesday, we were doing a lot of moving things from one house to the other, and cleaning, and unpacking. Then that Thursday was my birthday. We went to Red Robin, and Target, and TCBY, and Barnes and Noble. Then later that night, we (as in my brother and I) went to the high school we compete in forensics at, because we were leaving that night to go to the State Tournament. That was a really fun weekend. I made it to the top 16 in LD, which was pretty awesome. Then I got robbed of a round, and was knocked out. However, one of the people I'd beaten the first day (who got to stay in because of a wild card round) ended up being the State Champion.

So, basically, I beat the State Champion.

So that's my birthday. These last two months have been crazy, though, so I'll continue the story.

A couple of weeks later, we went to the Nat Quals tournament.

And I qualified.

I'm going to Nationals!!! So is my novice, who rocks socks. She went undefeated until her very last round, but she was still awesome, and the top qualifier. So nationals are in June, in Alabama. And that's very exciting. We got the topic today. Resolved: An oppressive government is more desirable than no government.

It's the most amazing topic ever, and I get to debate it at Nationals!!

Obviously, I'm very excited. So I've had about a month off of forensics, but I need to start doing practice again soon because it's next month, and we have the topic now. But it's also the last two weeks of school for me, which means lots and lots of work. I have two papers due on Friday, and two tests and a presentation next week. So there's too much, and I'm going just a little bit crazy. But I'll pull it out in the end. I always do.

But so far coming of age (minus one) has been cray-cray. I'm also looking for a job for the summer, and I'm starting summer school at the end of May (and taking a philosophy class) and then I'm taking 17 credits next semester. So that'll also be cray-cray. My coming-of-age-minus-one year is going to be insane.


Doctor Who S7: E11--Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS

A salvage crew strikes on the TARDIS when it's vulnerable (because the TARDIS doesn't like Clara--what's up with that?), and like ruins the TARDIS, and emits this, like, poisonous gas, and the Doctor gets locked outside the TARDIS, but Clara gets locked inside. So the Doctor convinces the salvage crew to help him get Clara back out, in exchange for the TARDIS itself. So they go in, and of course the TARDIS is being difficult, and the salvage crew is being stupid...

So everything from here on out is...


So I LOVED THIS EPISODE!!! It was so good. In the beginning you got to see some of the back-and-forth that I love about Clara and the Doctor, and then cray-cray stuff happened, and then throughout the whole episode there was all this mystery, and wonder, and then there were these zombie creature things that were chasing everyone, and even killing people.

So one part at a time. First of all, the burn on Clara's hand was really cool. Because you saw it at first, and you were like, what?! and then it kept coming up, and you would see more of the words as the episode went on, and you were kept wondering what it said, and how it was important, and then for some reason I loved that she blew on the burn. Because it's totally a normal thing to do, but I feel like in TV shows they tend to do things a little unrealistically, but just her blowing on the burn made me relate to her so much more. Is that weird?

Then the whole TARDIS being angry thing was nice, because we all know how temperamental the TARDIS is, and it was fun to see her throw a temper tantrum.

And the library!!! For starters, we got to see the swimming pool inside of a library, but then we got to see a legit library. And there were these bottles with voices in them, like memories, with people talking in Gallifreyan, and that was interesting. Because it showed that there was like this sort of hidden part of the Doctor, where he kept memories of his people and himself, and that they were all bottled, and hidden. I dunno. It was just interesting because it showed a different side of him.

And then in the library we also saw the Book of the Time War or whatever it was called, and Clara looked in it, and found out what the Doctor's name was!!! And it's weird because the Doctor's name is made into such a huge mystery, that it's going to change everything when we find out, but what on earth could it possibly be that would change everything? You know? That it's such a huge deal, and that Doctor Who (the show) will never be the same again, and that it's so earth-shattering.

It's a name.

How is it so important?

But we're going to find it out someday. The name of the last episode of the season is The Name of the Doctor, so maybe we'll find out them, but it's possible that they'll end this season on a cliffhanger, and not tell us until the 50th Anniversary special (WHICH I'M SO EXCITED FOR!)

But the best--the very, very best part of this episode--was when we found out that Clara had died at the beginning of the episode. Because I knew the gas was poisonous, but I just figured she hadn't breathed it in, or was in a different part of the TARDIS, or...something. It had not even occurred to me that she was dead. And then that the zombie things chasing everyone were her. That she was the zombie, because she had died and roasted.

It was crazy. Not gonna lie.

I liked the exchange when the Doctor was chewing Clara out, and she was like, "I died? I've been alive two other times this season?" It was pretty great,ecause she really has no clue what's going on. And that's interesting because--what is going on?

So this was an amazing episode, and I loved it to pieces. Obviously, I'm very enthusiastic about it.



I have a new idea

So I am taking English Comp II now, and my teacher, Professor Seymour, is awesome. (short version) And at the beginning of every class, he has a writing prompt, that's usually interesting. So sometimes I come up with awesome responses to them, and I was thinking, maybe I could post the prompts and responses on here, for your entertainment!

Upcoming posts include which superhero would win in a fight: Superman vs. Batman and Superman vs. Spiderman (my answers might surprise you), and lists of awesome things, and ponderings about time travel.

If you feel the urge to comment on this post, tell me what you think of my new idea! And feel free to comment on whatever else. I really don't care either way, but it's a good way to let me know which content you prefer and let me know you're reading!

Cheesy plug for comments over...I can't believe I've turned into one of those people. You know what? Don't comment! If you do, you'll just be feeding my pathetic-ness. So, really, it's up to you.


(Because "Geronimo" seemed too exciting for late at night, when I'm tired)

Doctor Who S7: E10---Hide

In this episode, the Doctor and Clara go to an old house in the 1970's where an empathic psychic and an ex-military professor are trying to solve the mystery of a ghost, the Witch of the Well. I won't spoil the ending.

The ending was really cheesy, actually (the twist part) and I didn't overall love the second half of the episode. What I did like, though, was the chemistry between the Doctor and Clara. They had great little quotes and back-and-forth and conversation and things. It was really funny and fun and awesome. It's the first time this season (other than the first episode of Clara, and the Christmas episode) where Clara was really likable. I love Clara, and she's awesome. But she's been sort of a dead character the last two episodes (The Rings of Akhaten and The Cold War). It felt less like she was just being than that the writers were making her be. It felt like the writers were trying to tell us who she was, and not just letting us figure it out.

BUT this episode, we were able to just rest in who Clara was, and see how she works and how she and the Doctor work together. It was great. I'm also excited for the story of this season to move along a little more. There's always those stalling episodes that are more filler, but it feels like there have been a lot of those this season. But there's only...four episodes left (!) so it'll probably pick up speed soon. The next episode looks promising.

In other news, I've gotten two of my friends addicted to Doctor Who, and gotten another of my friends to watch some of the episodes (and he likes them!). So yay for expanding Whovian-ness.


2013/New Plan?

I don't know if I still have regular viewers. If I do, I'm sorry.

I'm so, so sorry.

Haha. I'm back. Hopefully.

This is my first post of 2013! So that's exciting. It's only four months in...There's a bunch of episodes from season 7 of Doctor Who I haven't written about (I gave up on season 6; suffice it to say, it was my favorite season, because it was fantastic, and amazing, and all other good adjectives). I'm not going to go back and fix it, but I will say that I'm not that impressed with season 7 so far. There were a couple of good ones in the first half (Asylum of the Daleks, Dinosaurs on a Spaceship, and the Angels Take Manhattan) and then the first episode with Clara, The Bells of St. John was good.


But everything else has been meh. Except "Hide." Hide was a good episode. I was partially distracted with drawing, so I'm going to watch it again this week. When I do, I'll blog about how awesome it was, as well as my theories about Clara, and other theories I think have some credence.

Which brings me to my new plan? I say new plan? because it's a plan, that's true. And it is new. But I don't know if it'll work. Anyway, my new plan? is to post about the new episodes as they come out. This'll give me a week in between to write about them, prevents the backlog problems I had before, and will allow you, as my loyal readers (who might not exist) to experience my understandings and ponderings of Clara. Yay you.

I don't know if there is any not Doctor Who-related content coming your way, as well. I have finals coming up in just a couple of weeks, so I'm crazy busy with school and things, so we'll see where this takes us!


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