My Technical Week Off of School

Technically I have a week off of school.  Not exactly, though.  Technically.

See, it's the end of the quarter, or close to it, so I have no school tomorrow (Friday).  Then it's the weekend, obviously, but then it's Parent Teacher Conferences on Monday so there's no school then either.  Then I have just a one-hour class Tuesday.  Wednesday I'm taking the PSAT so I have no school that day either.  Then Thursday I have, again, only one hour of class.  So for the next week, I have two hours of class total.

Of course, that isn't including homework...I have a history midterm next week, a rough draft of a research paper due in two weeks, a summary-and-response paper for English to work on, a persuasive speech to start on, and some math...So I'm gonna do like three hours of homework a day or something for the next week.  That should be enough time...right?

With the rest of the time I'll sleep.  Enjoy my time off.  Catch up on shows with my mom.  I have a tournament on Saturday.  I'm not competing, I'm judging, and providing moral support for my novice, Sammie.  She's awesome.  She doesn't think so, but she really is awesome.  A different Sammie than the Sammi mentioned previously, fyi.  It gets confusing, I know.  Just remember, is there an e at the end?

My Beautiful Blog!

 Suffice it to say, I'm pretty stinking happy with the way my blog looks right now.  I've spent probably the last hour on it, so it'd better look good, right?

See, first I thought I'd see if Blogger had fixed the bug that wouldn't let me use my own background.  I'd had another background in mind, but even though Blogger had fixed it, it had to be 1800x1600 to fit it full screen.  I'm pretty much convinced there's not a single picture of the TARDIS that is those dimensions.  So I eventually stopped looking and decided to play around with what I could do.  Long story short, (which includes attempting HTML coding, long Google searches, and lots of frustration and confusion) I got this to work.  And I think it's beautiful.  Let me know what you think!  Also, if you manage to find a TARDIS picture big enough, let me know.

It looks kind of Halloween...that's perfect.


No more one-word titles

Even though I'd wanted to call this one "Homecoming," I realized that the last four or so posts have consisted of one-word titles...

So.  Homecoming.

Homecoming didn't work out the way I'd wanted it to.  See, I had this guy friend who I'd thought might ask me to homecoming.  In fact, I was counting on it.  This was exciting for me because I'd never been to Homecoming before, much less with a guy (even a guy friend).  But then he went and asked someone else.  First sadness.  Then my friend Sammi was going to go with me, but she ended up going with another guy.  At this point, I was sick of homecoming.  Sort of like today, it just sort of got to be too many disappointments or something, and I was just done.  Plus, I was almost completely broke, so figuring out a dress, and a ticket, and everything...would've been too much.

Then to make everything just a little bit worse, another friend really pushed for me to go.  We're talking, offered to pay for my ticket.  But I had to say no.  Because I couldn't let her do that.  And I would've been the only person without a date, as always.  So I had to say no.  Over and over again.  And that just really sucked because honestly (and I hope she's not reading this) I want to go.  So badly.  I just can't, you know? And maybe my pride is involved somehow, but I feel like there've been just too many closed doors...

Anyway, I still feel like crap about it.  It's the third year in a row I've had to watch everyone else get excited for homecoming, and plan everything, and get dresses, and get asked, and...it's just a lot.  So looking at homecoming dresses today kind of made me depressed.  And looking bad in the homecoming dresses made me more depressed.  So if you're reading this and you know me, and you've had to deal with my bad mood today...this is largely why.


It's been a long day.  I've been like dead tired all day, so I haven't been the best I could've been.  So like during school I mostly zoned out during my off period, when I was "hanging out" with people.  Then I got kind of pissed at the world after I took the gifted and talented test today (which was required for the whole school, but not announced until yesterday).  So I went to pay for the PSAT at Rocky, and it was really cold, and I parked wrong.  Then I ran into a couple of my friends, when I'd really been hoping not to run into anyone, because I just felt very out of it, and not myself.  But it happened.  Then I came home, and as soon as I came in my mom told me that we were going shopping.  At this point I was already pissed because my plan had been to be home by 10, at the very very latest, so I could make cookies, and work on an essay, and maybe get to some math homework, while watching Wallander...but instead it was after 11, and we were leaving.

I wasn't super pissed that we were going though.  We were going to JCPenny's, to look for a shirt for my  brother (the stunning duo competitor for forensics), and we ended up looking at some clothes.  I tried on some dresses, but then it was sort of sour because I didn't get to try on the dress I'd wanted to try on, and then all of the other ones I tried on didn't look good.  And it made me feel sad again about homecoming (more on that later).  And my mom thought I was pissed at her, but I wasn't.  I was just tired.  And zoned out.  So we came home, and she went to a meeting.  I made cookies, like I'd wanted, but then my dad came home, and interrupted my plans of watching YouTube videos and listening to Chameleon Circuit/Imagine Dragons (my "My Cold Thursday Playlist").  After he left, and I stuck the first batch of cookies in, I legitimately broke down crying.  Today didn't go how I'd wanted it to, and I just felt terrible.  And that continued for a good hour.

Then my mom and brother came home, and my mom told me that I had hurt her feelings by making her feel like I didn't really want to be spending time with her.  And now I'm just at the point where I'm insanely sick of today and I just want to go to sleep.  Because I'm so tired, and I just feel like crying about everything.

Today wasn't even a bad day, overall.  It was really fun to go to JCPenny's, and look at clothes.  I just...feel a little depressed, and I've been more tired today than I've been in a long time.  Even chocolate chip cookies didn't help.

But we're making homemade pizzas for dinner, and maybe we'll watch something fun.  And at the very least, I have sleeping later to look forward to.  And tomorrow.  Tomorrow should be good.  Better, anyway.

Cool People in the World