10.04.2012

No more one-word titles

Even though I'd wanted to call this one "Homecoming," I realized that the last four or so posts have consisted of one-word titles...

So.  Homecoming.
Homecoming.

Homecoming didn't work out the way I'd wanted it to.  See, I had this guy friend who I'd thought might ask me to homecoming.  In fact, I was counting on it.  This was exciting for me because I'd never been to Homecoming before, much less with a guy (even a guy friend).  But then he went and asked someone else.  First sadness.  Then my friend Sammi was going to go with me, but she ended up going with another guy.  At this point, I was sick of homecoming.  Sort of like today, it just sort of got to be too many disappointments or something, and I was just done.  Plus, I was almost completely broke, so figuring out a dress, and a ticket, and everything...would've been too much.

Then to make everything just a little bit worse, another friend really pushed for me to go.  We're talking, offered to pay for my ticket.  But I had to say no.  Because I couldn't let her do that.  And I would've been the only person without a date, as always.  So I had to say no.  Over and over again.  And that just really sucked because honestly (and I hope she's not reading this) I want to go.  So badly.  I just can't, you know? And maybe my pride is involved somehow, but I feel like there've been just too many closed doors...

Anyway, I still feel like crap about it.  It's the third year in a row I've had to watch everyone else get excited for homecoming, and plan everything, and get dresses, and get asked, and...it's just a lot.  So looking at homecoming dresses today kind of made me depressed.  And looking bad in the homecoming dresses made me more depressed.  So if you're reading this and you know me, and you've had to deal with my bad mood today...this is largely why.

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