I wish I could get in shape. Honestly, I really do. Part of my desire to exercise is to lose a little bit of weight. But since I only have a little bit of weight that I really need to lose, my primary aim is to get in shape. I want to have muscles and be able to run, and things like that.

Besides, I just enjoy exercising.

Yet, for some reason, despite my very obvious desire to exercise, I have the greatest trouble actually doing it. For whatever reason, every time I decide that I want to exercise, my brain tries to sabotage me by coming up with excuses. Some of the excuses are good: it's snowing outside; you're sick and shouldn't over-exert yourself; you have a million other things to do...And some of the excuses are not good: but you could watch TV instead; you'd have to change your clothes; but you were about to eat lunch!

More often than not, I think I'm afraid to start exercising because in all of the times when I started exercising, I ended up stopping at some point for some reason. And if I know that it's not going to last, I think I end up asking myself:

What's the point?

All of this to set up what I actually want to talk about today. Last night was the Forensics Team Picnic, a time when the team gets together and attempts to grill food (and fails most of the time), announces Mock Awards, and elects officers for the upcoming season. The Picnic is also the time of the annual soccer game.

It happens every year. The seniors and alumni/coaches team up against everyone else in an epic game of soccer. We play barefoot and with street rules, though that doesn't stop the other team complaining about there being six different goalies, while they have people playing with their shoes on. It is a time to foster team cooperation and love.

For me, this was a great chance for me to exercise my competitive nature, and kill everyone else on the team. Not literally.

I had not had so much fun in such a long time. It was like all of the great things that I love about debate: being able to go on offense, and put others on defense, and attack, and use my skills to receive results. With an addendum: it was physical activity.

Gosh, I have missed physical activity. Again, I will repeat: it has been a very long time since I have exercised. So when my chest was restricting, and it was hard to breathe, and every part of my body wanted me to quit moving and go sit down, I could smile. I relished the feeling, and kept pushing myself. Instead of sitting down, I would spring harder than before. I would get right up with the ball, and kick it away from people, and follow where it went, and run over to the goalpost to try to be available for someone to pass it to me so I could kick it in (which they never did until I was incapable of shooting from where I was).

The other thing that was fantastic about it was that it was sort of all instinct. I knew how to kick the ball, and how to get the ball away from people. Obviously, I don't have any training (other than playing when I was in first and second grade), but it just felt good to play.

So I love soccer. If I was going to play any athletic sport, it would be soccer. In fact, I realized last night, if I could play soccer to get in shape, I would. Today, I'm sore in my thighs, calves, obliques, shoulders, and triceps. Not to mention how good I feel today simply from having the exercise. I could get in shape fast if I played soccer every couple of days. And now that's what I want to do. I think it would be fun to get friends together over the summer to just play soccer.

Maybe make it a regular thing, where like every Tuesday night or something we all just meet at the park; who can come comes, and we just play.

Or, I could just start running up in the mountains I live in now, and get in shape super quickly, and just play soccer when I can. Maybe I should buy a soccer ball.

Anyway, I need to start exercising, and I love soccer. And hopefully those two things will work together, and make my summer rock.

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