Yeah, I went there. I just wanted to revisit one of my favorite posts, Deep Thoughts Before 7, from about a year ago. There's a section I still really love. Here it is.
In class we were reading Descartes, where he decides to eliminate everything he believes to be true until he can't anymore, and thus find the one thing he can be certain of, and he starts it off by saying, "I've come to the perfect point in my life where I can start the careful and methodical process of completely doubting everything I believe and disassembling my entire life and existence." It always made me laugh, imagining that there could ever be a time for that. But I think that's a bit like what I'm doing now. I don't know if we can pick that time for ourselves--it seems to be sort of thrust upon us.
I think one of the worst things about being awake so early is every ten minutes I feel like I should be eating something. Like it's almost 7 now, and I've eaten a bowl and half of cereal, but now it feels like I should make toast, or be eating doughnuts (which we don't have) or waffles. Maybe eggs. It's like my body is continually confused by the daylight around me and the way my day is progressing. Like my life. Ooh, deep thoughts to have before 7 am. They're like the thoughts you have at 3 in the morning, but you can actually put some stock in them, because it's light outside and you can see clearly.
Something else I've been considering lately is that I never finish my cup of coffee in the morning (or at 7 pm). I always intend to finish it, and get so close, but I drink it slowly, and then I either have no time to finish it, or it gets cold, and I dislike microwaved coffee, so half of my coffee goes down the drain. What does that say about me? Maybe I'm going too deep for this early in the morning. I read into things too much: my coffee-drinking habits probably don't say a lot about my mental state or personality. It's like the coffee-drinking habits are a statement on society, like modern art. You have to look really close to see the resemblance, and at that point you wonder if there was any point to it in the first place. Society is the way it is, whether you understand the statement about it or not.
Yeah, I'm definitely going too deep.